WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:05.280 --> 00:00:07.500 (Lightning and thunder) 00:00:11.040 --> 00:00:13.040 (Lightning and thunder) 00:00:17.740 --> 00:00:22.460 The greatest stories ever told . . . 00:00:22.460 --> 00:00:26.600 Have a hero who must be bold. 00:00:26.600 --> 00:00:31.120 They learn a sense of right and wrong 00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:34.860 And better learn this sense through song! 00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:40.080 Musicals tell the impossible. 00:00:40.080 --> 00:00:41.340 (The impossible) 00:00:41.340 --> 00:00:45.180 They evoke the philosophical, yeah. 00:00:45.180 --> 00:00:50.220 So tonight we're gonna chronicle a story so astronomical . . . 00:00:50.220 --> 00:00:53.340 The last remaining story to tell! 00:00:53.340 --> 00:00:55.100 The guy who didn’t like musicals! 00:00:55.100 --> 00:00:58.480 Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em, Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em! 00:00:58.480 --> 00:00:59.540 I mean, what the fuck?!? 00:00:59.540 --> 00:01:02.440 Didn’t like, didn’t like, did not like like-a-like-‘em! 00:01:02.440 --> 00:01:03.920 He’s the guy who didn’t like musicals! 00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:07.380 Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em, Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em! 00:01:07.380 --> 00:01:08.320 Yeah, what the fuck?!? 00:01:08.320 --> 00:01:11.140 Didn’t like, didn’t like, did not like like-a-like-‘em! 00:01:11.140 --> 00:01:14.960 In the tiny town of Hatchetfield, 00:01:14.960 --> 00:01:19.400 Lived an awful grinch named Paul. 00:01:19.400 --> 00:01:23.560 He spends his days surfing the web, 00:01:23.560 --> 00:01:26.080 And not singing and dancing with us all. 00:01:26.080 --> 00:01:29.440 Should we kill him? Should we kill him? 00:01:29.440 --> 00:01:33.640 He pines after a cute lil’ barista. 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:37.760 Isn’t that worth a show-stopping fiesta, yeah? 00:01:37.760 --> 00:01:42.560 But for some damn reason He won’t join our singing season! 00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:43.760 What an ass! 00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:44.840 What a bitch! 00:01:44.840 --> 00:01:47.400 What a cuck! 00:01:48.120 --> 00:01:49.920 The guy who didn’t like musicals! 00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:52.960 Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em, Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em! 00:01:52.960 --> 00:01:54.400 I mean, what the fuck?!? 00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:56.280 Didn’t like, didn’t like, did not like like-a-like-‘em! 00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:58.680 He’s the guy who didn’t like musicals! 00:01:58.680 --> 00:02:03.000 - Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em, Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em! - Na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na! 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:05.000 Didn’t like, didn’t like, did not like like-a-like-‘em! 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:12.600 It’s the end of the world, Paul, (end of the world) If you don’t sing . . . (if you don't sing) 00:02:12.600 --> 00:02:16.360 This is the bridge, Paul, (this is the bridge) 00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:19.840 Where we globalize everything. 00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:23.640 And the words will come to you. 00:02:23.640 --> 00:02:26.440 We swear we will teach you 00:02:26.760 --> 00:02:30.340 What it means to love. 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:36.740 What it means to obey, Paul! 00:02:37.880 --> 00:02:39.880 The apotheosis is upon us. 00:02:40.480 --> 00:02:42.340 Yey! 00:02:42.700 --> 00:02:45.020 Did you hear the word? What's the word? 00:02:45.500 --> 00:02:47.500 He's a comin'! Who's a comin'? 00:02:47.500 --> 00:02:50.240 Paul's a comin'! Paul's a comin'? 00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:52.220 The star of the show! 00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:56.100 Now for his headlining entrance... 00:02:56.420 --> 00:03:00.420 Time to swoon at his leading man essence . . . 00:03:01.140 --> 00:03:03.280 His name is in the title . . . 00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:05.120 He's destined to go viral 00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:07.560 Here he is, his name is Paul . . . 00:03:07.780 --> 00:03:10.660 ENTER NOW!!! 00:03:15.320 --> 00:03:16.680 Where the fuck is he? 00:03:18.400 --> 00:03:19.980 I have no fucking clue. 00:03:21.700 --> 00:03:23.380 The guy just doesn't like musicals! 00:03:23.380 --> 00:03:27.740 Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em, Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em! 00:03:27.740 --> 00:03:30.060 Didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like-‘em! 00:03:30.660 --> 00:03:32.420 He's the guy who didn't like musicals! 00:03:32.420 --> 00:03:36.160 Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em, Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em! 00:03:36.160 --> 00:03:38.160 Didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like-‘em! 00:03:39.040 --> 00:03:41.040 And he definitely won't like this! 00:03:41.040 --> 00:03:44.700 Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em, Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em! 00:03:44.700 --> 00:03:46.440 Didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like-‘em! 00:03:46.440 --> 00:03:49.240 He's the guy who didn't like musicals! 00:03:49.240 --> 00:03:53.380 Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em, Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like-‘em! (You gotta believe in something, Paul. What do you believe in, stupid Paul?) 00:03:53.380 --> 00:03:55.620 Didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like-‘em! (You gotta believe in something) 00:03:55.640 --> 00:03:57.960 Why, oh why? Paul, you piece of Shit! 00:04:06.380 --> 00:04:07.440 Hey, Paul. 00:04:07.720 --> 00:04:08.400 Yeah? 00:04:08.420 --> 00:04:09.900 I was trying to print something . . . 00:04:10.040 --> 00:04:12.200 I think I might have sent it to your printer. 00:04:15.620 --> 00:04:16.120 Yep. 00:04:21.300 --> 00:04:27.780 Uh, just remember . . . You want to print from the HP Laserjet, not the HP Inkjet. 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:29.700 Right. Sorry Paul. 00:04:29.700 --> 00:04:30.740 It's fine. 00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:34.680 Hey, Paul, can I get those reports on my desk by the end of the day? 00:04:34.780 --> 00:04:35.800 Yes, Mr. Davidson. 00:04:36.340 --> 00:04:37.200 Great. 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:40.300 Hi, Paul. 00:04:40.600 --> 00:04:41.360 Hey, Melissa. 00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:43.600 Uh, were you gonna sign up for the company softball league? 00:04:44.340 --> 00:04:44.840 No. 00:04:45.340 --> 00:04:45.840 Oh 00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:49.000 Well, it might be fun 00:04:49.280 --> 00:04:51.600 Yeah, I don't want to though. 00:04:53.260 --> 00:04:57.060 Okay . . . well, Mr. Davidson wants those reports on his desk by the end of the day 00:04:57.060 --> 00:04:58.000 Will do! 00:04:58.000 --> 00:04:59.240 *phone rings* 00:05:00.580 --> 00:05:07.400 C.C.R.P. Technical, this is Charlotte. How can I help...? Oh, hi Sam! How are things down at the precinct? 00:05:08.090 --> 00:05:10.929 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, my day's been... 00:05:11.900 --> 00:05:14.480 Uh-huh... Oh... 00:05:14.600 --> 00:05:15.860 How late? 00:05:16.800 --> 00:05:18.400 But- but- but sweetheart, it's . . . 00:05:20.060 --> 00:05:22.140 Sweetheart, it- it's cuddle night . . . 00:05:24.440 --> 00:05:28.720 Well, what do you mean "so what?" The counselor says we should do it at least once a month! 00:05:29.960 --> 00:05:33.260 Yes, but... Yes, but honey we skipped last month. 00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:37.020 Well, don't you think I'm tired, too? 00:05:38.020 --> 00:05:40.980 All right, maybe tomorrow night then, huh? 00:05:41.900 --> 00:05:45.160 No, no, you're right. We should stick to the schedule. 00:05:45.740 --> 00:05:47.360 Next month it is! 00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:51.309 All right. Well, you take care, Sam. And, Sam, be careful because I love you... 00:05:53.840 --> 00:05:54.780 Sam? 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:02.400 That was Sam . . . 00:06:03.100 --> 00:06:04.500 He's doin' just fine . . . 00:06:06.020 --> 00:06:08.020 Counseling's working out real swell . . . 00:06:09.560 --> 00:06:14.200 Oh! Charlotte, I'm sorry. You can't smoke in here.. 00:06:14.200 --> 00:06:14.980 Huh? 00:06:16.100 --> 00:06:18.800 Oh! I didn't even realize . . . 00:06:20.280 --> 00:06:21.100 It's ok. 00:06:27.140 --> 00:06:32.020 Well, I'm gonna go get some coffee from Beanie's. Anyone wanna come? Bill? 00:06:32.620 --> 00:06:35.860 I can't. I gotta keep refreshing this webpage . . . 00:06:37.100 --> 00:06:40.840 See, I got Alice for one more night before she goes home to Clivesdale. 00:06:40.840 --> 00:06:45.120 Her mother, just to make me look small, took her allllllllll 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:47.720 the way to New York to see Hamilton, 00:06:47.720 --> 00:06:48.220 Ugh. 00:06:48.320 --> 00:06:49.800 And she loved it! 00:06:50.960 --> 00:06:54.080 So to prove to my ex-wife that two can play that game, 00:06:54.140 --> 00:06:57.800 I'm on HotTix right now! And the moment more become available, 00:06:57.840 --> 00:07:01.340 I'm getting two tickets for tonight. Because guess what, Paul. 00:07:01.340 --> 00:07:06.440 It's finally here! At the old Starlight Theater in downtown Hatchetfield... 00:07:07.400 --> 00:07:10.760 The touring production of Mamma Mia! 00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:15.160 Wow, she'll like that just as much as Hamilton. 00:07:15.520 --> 00:07:20.280 It's a musical! Hey, you want to tag along? Alice would get a kick out of it. 00:07:20.280 --> 00:07:22.720 Remember when you used to babysit her? Drive her to school? 00:07:23.080 --> 00:07:23.580 Yeah . . . 00:07:23.640 --> 00:07:29.320 She thinks you're cool. Maybe you could talk me up a bit? Let him know her old dad's pretty cool too! 00:07:30.080 --> 00:07:30.940 Bill . . . 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:32.480 No. 00:07:33.140 --> 00:07:34.040 Sorry. 00:07:34.040 --> 00:07:35.120 You got other plans? 00:07:35.680 --> 00:07:36.320 Uh- no. 00:07:37.580 --> 00:07:41.480 So you . . . you'd rather do nothing than come with us to see Mamma Mia? 00:07:42.080 --> 00:07:46.320 Bill, I'd rather do anything than go see Mamma Mia. 00:07:46.580 --> 00:07:49.600 The idea of sitting there, trapped in a musical . . . 00:07:49.780 --> 00:07:51.860 That is my own personal hell. 00:07:52.460 --> 00:07:56.940 I'm trying to reconnect with my teenage kid and you're just gonna leave me hanging? 00:07:57.320 --> 00:07:57.940 Yeah. 00:07:58.720 --> 00:07:59.620 Sorry. 00:08:00.140 --> 00:08:04.580 But, hey! I'll grab you something from Beanie's! My treat. What do you want? 00:08:04.760 --> 00:08:06.560 I just want my daughter back. 00:08:08.420 --> 00:08:10.860 How about an iced caramel frappe! Nothing better! 00:08:11.960 --> 00:08:12.960 Hey, you going to Beanie's? 00:08:12.960 --> 00:08:13.460 Yeah. 00:08:13.460 --> 00:08:14.180 You didn't invite me. 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:15.260 Sorry, Ted. Do you want to come? 00:08:15.260 --> 00:08:17.060 No, no, no, no, no . . . 00:08:18.460 --> 00:08:20.440 I don't wanna 'show you up' Yeah? (clicks tongue) 00:08:20.460 --> 00:08:21.660 What do you mean? 00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:27.900 Paul, come on. I know why you walk that extra block, instead of just going to Starbucks across the street. 00:08:27.910 --> 00:08:30.189 I don't want to give my money to some corporate chain... 00:08:30.189 --> 00:08:32.189 Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh? 00:08:32.260 --> 00:08:36.480 You sure it doesn't have anything to do with that cute lil ba-rista over there, huh? 00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:37.860 That's not the reason . . . 00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:41.060 Yeah, the 'Latte Hottay?!' 00:08:41.200 --> 00:08:43.780 As she's known throughout the land. Right? 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:45.740 It's like... (in Borat voice) "My wife!" Haha. Right? 00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:48.560 -It's like Borat, dude... -Alright. Bye, Ted. 00:08:48.560 --> 00:08:53.260 Hey! Get me a chai iced tea, eh!? Eh?!? Ehhhhh... 00:08:55.280 --> 00:08:56.080 (Bell chimes) 00:08:57.100 --> 00:08:58.440 Hi, can I help you? 00:08:58.440 --> 00:08:58.960 Yeah yeah yeah, 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:02.100 Can I get a grande caramel frappe in a venti cup of ten pumps of hazelnut, 00:09:02.100 --> 00:09:04.820 three shots of espresso, no caramel drizzle, with whip on top? 00:09:04.820 --> 00:09:06.260 Sure, that'll be $5.50. 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:08.840 Jesus, fine. 00:09:11.640 --> 00:09:12.340 Hey! 00:09:12.340 --> 00:09:12.860 Yeah? 00:09:12.860 --> 00:09:14.060 I just tipped you. 00:09:14.340 --> 00:09:15.500 Oh, well, thank you. 00:09:15.920 --> 00:09:18.220 Aren't you supposed to sing? The sign says tip for a song. 00:09:19.720 --> 00:09:22.440 Yeah, um, that's like a new thing . . . 00:09:22.640 --> 00:09:27.360 The owner went to Cold Stone Creamery over the weekend and brought back the whole singing thing, 00:09:27.640 --> 00:09:31.120 But, you know, there's a line and people are working. I don't want to disturb anyone. 00:09:31.120 --> 00:09:32.620 Haha, I don't care. I just tipped you, come on. 00:09:33.100 --> 00:09:36.460 Okay. Well, did you do that to be nice or did you do it to be an asshole? 00:09:36.800 --> 00:09:38.720 Fine, I'll take it back then. 00:09:38.720 --> 00:09:43.020 Oh no! What am I gonna do without that DOLLAR I have to split it with five other people? 00:09:43.020 --> 00:09:47.180 You know what? I'm never coming back here again. That sign's bullshit. 00:09:47.180 --> 00:09:49.420 Oh my god, so mean! 00:09:53.140 --> 00:09:54.800 Emma, what's the deal over here? 00:09:54.800 --> 00:09:57.460 That guy just flipped out on me for practically no reason. 00:09:57.560 --> 00:09:59.120 She wouldn't sing for him. 00:09:59.560 --> 00:10:01.840 And I still haven't gotten my hot chocolate. 00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:03.560 Oh, sorry, I'll get right on that. 00:10:03.560 --> 00:10:05.460 I have very low blood sugar. 00:10:07.150 --> 00:10:09.239 I'm so sorry, sir. We'll get you a voucher. 00:10:09.780 --> 00:10:11.900 Jesus, Emma, come on. I already warned you twice! 00:10:11.900 --> 00:10:13.660 It's embarrassing, Nora! 00:10:13.840 --> 00:10:18.300 I mean, god, maybe Zoey's okay with the whole singing thing because she majored in theater. 00:10:18.640 --> 00:10:21.080 I think it's a really fun idea, Nora. 00:10:21.220 --> 00:10:22.560 Why aren't you working? 00:10:22.560 --> 00:10:23.840 Oh, I'm on vocal rest. 00:10:23.840 --> 00:10:24.460 What? 00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:25.380 (Louder) I'm on vocal re- 00:10:27.700 --> 00:10:31.320 Godammit, Emma. Now, I need to make a tea with honey, okay. Oh my god . . . 00:10:32.380 --> 00:10:35.680 Look, can't Zoey just do the singing? I don't like it. 00:10:35.680 --> 00:10:39.380 Huh, okay. So then you must not like having a job here then, hm? 00:10:39.640 --> 00:10:43.120 You know what? Just don't even bother showing up for your next shift. 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:45.060 What? Are you serious? Wait, wait, wait wait! 00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:46.760 Wait... 00:10:48.160 --> 00:10:49.340 I will do the singing. 00:10:49.340 --> 00:10:53.140 Yeah, you will. Now, move your ass. You got a line. 00:10:57.100 --> 00:10:58.680 Hi, can I help you? 00:10:58.680 --> 00:11:02.180 Uh, yeah, I got an easy one for you. Just a cup of black coffee. 00:11:05.080 --> 00:11:06.900 Jesus! Really? 00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:09.680 (Singing) I've been brewing up your coffee... 00:11:09.680 --> 00:11:13.700 Oh no, no, no. No, no, no. Uh, I'm sorry. No, I don't need you to sing 00:11:13.940 --> 00:11:15.940 I just tipped because you know... 00:11:17.140 --> 00:11:18.440 people should tip. 00:11:20.220 --> 00:11:21.840 Well, thank you. 00:11:22.420 --> 00:11:25.880 I mean because if I have to sing for it, it's not really a tip, right? 00:11:26.340 --> 00:11:30.660 It's just like I have another shitty paying job on top of my already shitty paying job! 00:11:31.080 --> 00:11:33.800 'Cause I mean, most of my tips are less than a buck? 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:40.900 So after the split, I'm making, like, not even 25 cents a song. That is less than a fucking jukebox! 00:11:41.260 --> 00:11:47.120 Only a jukebox doesn't also have to make coffee for these assholes. Uh, not that you're an asshole. 00:11:47.340 --> 00:11:49.240 Well, maybe you are. What'd you tip? 00:11:50.620 --> 00:11:52.320 Five bucks! 00:11:53.580 --> 00:11:57.520 You meant this just for me, right? Like I don't have to split this with anyone . . . 00:11:57.700 --> 00:11:59.500 Oh, no, that's for you. I don't give a shit about them. 00:12:03.320 --> 00:12:04.900 That's very sweet. 00:12:05.300 --> 00:12:08.340 God, I'm just so sick of Nora and Zoey 00:12:08.420 --> 00:12:12.220 Who is technically my manager, even though she is ten years younger than me. 00:12:12.260 --> 00:12:17.660 Ugh. She hired all of her little theater friends and they will not (singing) shut the fuck up 00:12:18.060 --> 00:12:21.520 About some shitty production of Godspell they did last summer. 00:12:21.960 --> 00:12:23.780 Oh, that was the one at the rec center, right? 00:12:24.060 --> 00:12:26.280 I think I had to see that. I did not like it. 00:12:26.280 --> 00:12:26.780 Yeah! 00:12:27.660 --> 00:12:28.820 It sucked, right? 00:12:28.820 --> 00:12:31.780 Yeah. Yeah, they shouldn't call it "Godspell." More like "god-awful." 00:12:31.780 --> 00:12:33.740 Yeah. Or, like, "God-damn-that-was-bad." 00:12:33.740 --> 00:12:35.360 Yeah! Hahaha... 00:12:36.600 --> 00:12:38.400 I don't like musicals. 00:12:39.060 --> 00:12:41.920 Watching people sing and dance makes me very uncomfortable. 00:12:42.620 --> 00:12:47.380 Well then why did you come to the singing coffee shop? You know, there's a Starbucks across the street. 00:12:47.820 --> 00:12:48.520 Oh, uh . . . 00:12:49.100 --> 00:12:52.060 Well, you know, some things are worth it. 00:12:53.640 --> 00:12:54.500 Like, 00:12:55.820 --> 00:12:57.240 Damn good coffee. 00:12:59.400 --> 00:13:02.660 I see you in here all the time, don't I? What's your name? 00:13:02.780 --> 00:13:03.540 Paul. 00:13:03.880 --> 00:13:05.340 Hi Paul. I'm Emma. 00:13:05.340 --> 00:13:06.380 Excuse me. 00:13:08.280 --> 00:13:10.620 I have been waiting a very long while... 00:13:10.620 --> 00:13:12.354 Sorry, sorry! 00:13:12.860 --> 00:13:14.420 Okay, uh... Bye, Emma! 00:13:14.600 --> 00:13:15.280 (Bell Chimes) 00:13:16.560 --> 00:13:20.080 Emma... Oh shoot! I forgot Bill's caramel frappe. 00:13:21.100 --> 00:13:22.060 Eh, fuck Bill. 00:13:24.760 --> 00:13:27.720 Hi, can I talk to you about saving the planet? No. 00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:29.720 Um, do you have a few minutes to talk about saving the planet? 00:13:30.300 --> 00:13:30.920 Hello! 00:13:30.920 --> 00:13:31.420 Hey. 00:13:32.700 --> 00:13:34.560 Hi! Are you interested in saving the planet? 00:13:34.560 --> 00:13:36.640 Uh, yes I am, but I just got off work... 00:13:36.640 --> 00:13:39.140 Well you know, it'll just take a few minutes. It's for the planet, so... 00:13:39.140 --> 00:13:39.900 Yeah, but I... 00:13:39.900 --> 00:13:43.720 I just want to tell you about how you can contribute to Greenpeace's efforts all around the globe. 00:13:44.080 --> 00:13:45.840 Oh! Greenpeace? 00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:46.340 Yeah! 00:13:46.700 --> 00:13:47.360 You know what? 00:13:47.360 --> 00:13:50.400 I- I'm actually already signed up with you guys. I already give! 00:13:50.400 --> 00:13:52.440 Oh, well, that's really generous of you. 00:13:52.440 --> 00:13:54.880 Do you know about our new campaign to save the sea turtles? 00:13:54.880 --> 00:13:58.100 Yeah. Yeah. I've been getting the emails. Been reading all about it. 00:13:58.100 --> 00:14:01.500 Really? Uh the campaign that doesn't exist? The one that I just made up? 00:14:03.520 --> 00:14:05.520 You don't give to Greenpeace, do you? 00:14:06.640 --> 00:14:10.740 You know that money you're raising? You know, how much of it actually goes to the turtles? 00:14:10.740 --> 00:14:12.040 Well, none of it. I just made that up. 00:14:12.040 --> 00:14:15.400 That's right none. It goes to line the pockets of some corporate bigwigs. 00:14:15.420 --> 00:14:17.800 I give my money directly to the people who need it. 00:14:17.800 --> 00:14:19.180 Oh, spare change for the homeless? 00:14:19.180 --> 00:14:19.900 Sorry. I don't have anything. 00:14:20.800 --> 00:14:22.500 Wow, you're a real humanitarian. 00:14:22.500 --> 00:14:27.140 And you've come on a little strong with that whole "save the planet" bit. As if I'm gonna do that single-handedly... 00:14:27.140 --> 00:14:27.640 Well, you know what... 00:14:27.640 --> 00:14:29.380 (Lighting & Thunder) 00:14:31.040 --> 00:14:33.280 What is . . . that? 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:34.460 (thunder rumbling) 00:14:35.800 --> 00:14:38.220 Oh, Heavens to Betsy . . . 00:14:38.440 --> 00:14:42.820 There's some kind of terrible storm out there. I hope Sam's alright . . . 00:14:43.300 --> 00:14:44.460 Fuck Sam. 00:14:48.020 --> 00:14:49.620 Come back to bed. All right? 00:14:50.020 --> 00:14:51.080 Alright Ted, but, 00:14:51.100 --> 00:14:52.940 This has to be the last time. 00:14:52.940 --> 00:14:56.820 Sure, Charlotte! Just like last time was the last time! If you don't like what we're doing here 00:14:56.820 --> 00:14:57.440 There's the door! 00:14:57.740 --> 00:14:58.500 (thunder rumble) 00:14:59.700 --> 00:15:02.600 Oh God, cherry on top of an already perfect day! 00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:04.560 Zoey, you need a ride? 00:15:04.560 --> 00:15:07.000 In your shitty car? Yeah, I'd rather not crash and die. It's fine, thank you. 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:07.540 Great. 00:15:09.020 --> 00:15:13.480 Excuse me, ma'am, but I got a warrant to inspect the junk in your trunk. 00:15:13.480 --> 00:15:15.640 Oh, Sam you're such an asshole, okay... 00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:19.580 But that uniform is so fucking sexy. 00:15:19.580 --> 00:15:24.020 Hey, I have a little present for ya'. These two tickets to Mama Mia? 00:15:24.140 --> 00:15:28.160 No way! You got 'em!? I never miss a musical at the Starlight. 00:15:28.160 --> 00:15:33.379 And if anyone thinks that makes me less of a man, they can talk to my fucking gun! 00:15:33.380 --> 00:15:35.380 (Thunder rumble) 00:15:37.060 --> 00:15:41.740 Holy hell, it's raining cats and dogs! Are you sure you don't want me to pick you up? 00:15:42.360 --> 00:15:47.820 Okay. Yes. I got a ticket for Deb and after the show, we're gonna go to your favorite restaurant! 00:15:48.300 --> 00:15:49.980 Red Lobster! 00:15:49.980 --> 00:15:52.780 Yeah, I know Deb's a vegetarian. They got fish. 00:15:54.140 --> 00:15:57.960 Vegan? Uh... It's crabfest! Alice, you're killing me! 00:15:57.960 --> 00:15:59.500 (Thunder rumbling) 00:15:59.760 --> 00:16:02.240 Alright, Dad, well we'll meet you at the theater, ok? 00:16:04.680 --> 00:16:06.720 Take a hit, Alice! 00:16:07.260 --> 00:16:09.060 I don't think I oughta. 00:16:09.060 --> 00:16:11.760 Look, she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to, okay? 00:16:11.780 --> 00:16:16.080 Come on, Deb! That's not how it works! You're either in the Smoke Club or you're out! 00:16:17.160 --> 00:16:18.920 Okay, well then maybe we're out. 00:16:19.560 --> 00:16:21.580 Come on, Alice. Those guys are assholes anyway... 00:16:22.040 --> 00:16:23.000 (Thunder rumble) 00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:25.840 Woah, what's that coming through the clouds? 00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:26.820 (Lightning) 00:16:33.500 --> 00:16:34.900 Good God! 00:16:35.260 --> 00:16:37.840 Alexa, it's happening! 00:16:37.960 --> 00:16:41.140 Come on, you bastard! You don't think I'm ready for you? 00:16:41.140 --> 00:16:46.040 I've been waiting in the wings. The stage is set. It's showtime! 00:16:46.040 --> 00:16:47.460 (Thunder rumbles) 00:16:49.620 --> 00:16:51.620 (Lightning flashes. CRASH!!!) 00:16:54.580 --> 00:16:58.400 (News jingle) 00:16:58.400 --> 00:17:02.360 This is the Morning Hatchetfield News with Dan and Donna! 00:17:02.940 --> 00:17:09.060 They said he wouldn't make it. That he had fallen from too great a height, but this little guy beat the odds and 00:17:09.060 --> 00:17:15.440 Captured our hearts. Now weighing in at almost ten ounces, Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel has outgrown 00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:17.780 his adopted father's pocket. 00:17:17.785 --> 00:17:18.680 Peanuts! 00:17:19.020 --> 00:17:25.020 Luckily, proud Papa Ed has been squirreling away on his GoFundMe page to build Peanuts his very own, 00:17:25.020 --> 00:17:26.920 Get this Dan, squirrel house! 00:17:27.040 --> 00:17:28.710 Huh, that's amazing! 00:17:28.710 --> 00:17:34.980 And something else has fallen to the ground here in Hatchetfield, this time from outer space! The meteor came- 00:17:35.080 --> 00:17:35.580 (TV switches off) 00:17:37.120 --> 00:17:38.620 (Music begins) 00:17:41.760 --> 00:17:42.520 Sorry! 00:17:46.360 --> 00:17:47.180 That was interesting. 00:17:50.200 --> 00:17:51.020 Seems like a lot. 00:17:52.620 --> 00:17:55.320 Hey, did you see... Oh, you again. 00:17:56.340 --> 00:17:59.000 Look, I'm not a bad guy, okay? I've given to charities in the past... 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:01.580 (Singing) Hey, yeah! Just a typical day 00:18:02.120 --> 00:18:02.620 (Speaking) what? 00:18:02.620 --> 00:18:06.240 Got me feelin' in a beautiful way! 00:18:06.340 --> 00:18:07.920 No rhyme or reason 00:18:08.060 --> 00:18:09.680 We could sing a duet! 00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:10.240 (Speaking) Ow. 00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:13.720 Dance a style or two. Or I'll make you a bet, 00:18:14.340 --> 00:18:16.960 Just a smile will do! 00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:19.120 Sometimes I just wanna shout, 00:18:19.120 --> 00:18:21.060 Atop of roofs and mountain tops, 00:18:21.060 --> 00:18:23.920 That all the world is paved in gold! 00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:25.200 (Speaking) Oh, is he with Greenpeace too or...? 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:27.360 Yesterday was retroactive, 00:18:27.360 --> 00:18:29.260 Got myself a new perspective. 00:18:29.260 --> 00:18:32.120 I strut it up and down the road! 00:18:32.820 --> 00:18:34.720 So I threw all my worries, 00:18:35.180 --> 00:18:36.840 and my old skin away, 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:38.700 doing what I want to, 00:18:39.140 --> 00:18:40.880 on this la dee dah dah day! 00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:41.860 (La dee dah dah day) 00:18:41.860 --> 00:18:44.940 La dee dah dah la dee dah dah 00:18:45.180 --> 00:18:47.460 La dee dah dah day! 00:18:47.960 --> 00:18:52.320 (La dee dah dah day!) La dee dah dah la dee dah dah 00:18:52.440 --> 00:18:56.340 La dee dah dah day! La dee dah dah day! 00:18:56.340 --> 00:18:57.640 (Speaking) What the fuck was that? 00:18:57.640 --> 00:18:58.920 (Speaking) Spare change for the homeless? 00:18:58.920 --> 00:19:00.200 (Speaking) Sorry man, I don't have anything. 00:19:00.200 --> 00:19:01.640 (Speaking) Hey man, that's alright . . . 00:19:03.120 --> 00:19:04.720 Cause I may not have a home, 00:19:05.720 --> 00:19:06.920 But that's way okay! 00:19:07.420 --> 00:19:08.960 Cuz I prefer to roam, 00:19:09.420 --> 00:19:11.520 The streets all day! 00:19:11.520 --> 00:19:12.940 The world is my house! 00:19:13.700 --> 00:19:15.520 The dogs are my food. 00:19:15.520 --> 00:19:16.920 Oh look, a new blouse! 00:19:17.720 --> 00:19:19.480 and a new trash-tattoo! 00:19:19.960 --> 00:19:21.860 I used to want to kill them all, 00:19:21.860 --> 00:19:24.120 While high on bathsalt-zombie-drugs, 00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:27.040 while snacking on a dead man's face! 00:19:27.180 --> 00:19:28.040 (Speaking) What? 00:19:28.040 --> 00:19:30.000 But that just feels like yesterday! 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:32.080 A song takes all the pain away. 00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:34.680 My politics and house-views changed. 00:19:35.540 --> 00:19:39.160 Dancing on the concrete used to hurt a lot, 00:19:39.520 --> 00:19:40.960 but now I got new feet! 00:19:41.540 --> 00:19:43.280 And this jam's just way too hot! 00:19:43.280 --> 00:19:44.220 La dee dah dah day! 00:19:44.220 --> 00:19:47.360 La dee dah dah la dee dah dah 00:19:47.500 --> 00:19:51.220 La dee dah dah day! La dee dah dah day! 00:19:51.320 --> 00:19:54.440 La dee dah dah la dee dah dah 00:19:54.600 --> 00:19:58.420 La dee dah dah day! La dee dah dah day! 00:19:58.420 --> 00:19:59.460 (Speaking) Okay, okay thank you! 00:19:59.500 --> 00:20:00.420 (Speaking) Hey, thank you. God bless you, man! 00:20:00.620 --> 00:20:02.180 (Speaking) Alright, um, uh? 00:20:02.380 --> 00:20:04.940 (Speaking) What's happening? I'm very confused and concerned by, 00:20:04.940 --> 00:20:06.140 (Speaking) all of this... I... 00:20:06.520 --> 00:20:08.380 Do you want to save the planet? 00:20:08.380 --> 00:20:10.260 (Of course you want to save the planet!) 00:20:10.600 --> 00:20:12.600 Do you want to save the planet? 00:20:12.600 --> 00:20:14.480 (There's just one way you can do it!) 00:20:14.700 --> 00:20:17.040 By singing a song! 00:20:17.040 --> 00:20:18.720 (Singing a song) 00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:22.300 Singing along! 00:20:22.340 --> 00:20:25.420 La dee dah dah dah dah la dee dah dee dah 00:20:25.420 --> 00:20:28.640 Da dee dah dah dah dee dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah 00:20:28.640 --> 00:20:33.120 La dee dah dah dah dah DAY!!! 00:20:33.120 --> 00:20:35.960 La dee dah dah La dee dah dah 00:20:36.200 --> 00:20:37.980 La dee dah dah day! 00:20:38.120 --> 00:20:40.080 La dee dah dah day! 00:20:40.080 --> 00:20:46.460 La dee dah dah La dee dah dah La dee dah dah day! 00:20:46.820 --> 00:20:49.540 Away! 00:20:49.540 --> 00:20:52.360 La dee dahahh... 00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:57.320 Day! 00:21:05.580 --> 00:21:07.020 Lights down! 00:21:07.020 --> 00:21:07.860 Oh my god. (Quick change. Quick change.) 00:21:19.120 --> 00:21:20.000 Okay. 00:21:23.520 --> 00:21:24.480 Okay? 00:21:28.460 --> 00:21:28.960 Okay. 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:33.500 Okay. 00:21:37.380 --> 00:21:38.340 Okay! 00:21:43.340 --> 00:21:47.280 Now, I get that Alice is eighteen. She's a senior. 00:21:47.360 --> 00:21:51.939 She's got her own life, but I only get my daughter for one week a month, 00:21:51.940 --> 00:21:58.090 And she wants to spend that whole time with her girlfriend, Deb. So I say, "bring Deb along, 00:21:58.090 --> 00:22:01.417 we'll all go see the show." And would you believe it? 00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:06.980 We get there and the whole theater was exploded by a god dang METEOR! 00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:09.260 Mama Mia! 00:22:10.220 --> 00:22:15.020 Huge hole right through the marquee and everything. Can you believe that, Charlotte? 00:22:15.100 --> 00:22:19.200 Charlotte? You got enough coffee in the sugar? 00:22:19.520 --> 00:22:20.320 Huh? 00:22:21.180 --> 00:22:26.480 Oh! I didn't even realize. Sorry. I'll make another pot. 00:22:26.980 --> 00:22:29.780 Coffee in the sugar (laughs) . . . Bill, you're a riot. 00:22:29.780 --> 00:22:31.940 (giggles) Coffee in sugar. 00:22:31.940 --> 00:22:32.960 Okay. 00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:33.740 Okay. 00:22:34.300 --> 00:22:34.860 Okay. 00:22:36.580 --> 00:22:44.600 Hey guys, uh, is today some kind of, I don't know, Canadian holiday or something? Like uh . . . 00:22:45.140 --> 00:22:47.560 International Music Day or...? 00:22:47.560 --> 00:22:48.900 Not that I know of. 00:22:48.900 --> 00:22:50.560 Okay, 'cause I just, uh... 00:22:50.780 --> 00:22:51.280 (Laughs) 00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:53.440 I just saw some people 00:22:53.780 --> 00:22:57.100 Dancing and singing like they were in a musical. 00:22:57.160 --> 00:23:02.660 There was this homeless guy and this very rude woman from Greenpeace doing this whole 00:23:02.880 --> 00:23:03.980 Choreographed number . . . 00:23:03.980 --> 00:23:04.860 Like a flash mob? 00:23:04.860 --> 00:23:07.840 Yeah. I mean, what else could it have been, right? 00:23:07.880 --> 00:23:09.120 Well, did you get a video of it? 00:23:09.280 --> 00:23:09.960 No. 00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:14.820 You're fucking useless, Paul. 00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:20.460 Yeah, I just have a bad feeling about all this. 00:23:21.100 --> 00:23:21.740 Charlotte? 00:23:21.741 --> 00:23:22.241 Huh? 00:23:22.241 --> 00:23:23.920 Have you noticed anything strange? 00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:27.620 What? No. Oh, it's silly. Um... 00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:30.880 It's just... um... 00:23:30.889 --> 00:23:33.849 It's Sam, my husband. 00:23:35.080 --> 00:23:37.000 He said he was coming home late last night. 00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:38.220 Heh! He didn't get home at all! 00:23:41.380 --> 00:23:41.880 (Coughs) 00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:44.220 Uh, I heard, I wasn't there. 00:23:46.380 --> 00:23:49.260 He must have rolled in around 6:00 this morning. 00:23:49.500 --> 00:23:53.420 He was in the shower when I woke up. I could hear him. He was... 00:23:54.460 --> 00:24:01.120 Singing. And I know this is a strange thing to realize, because, well, Sam's not a... 00:24:01.480 --> 00:24:05.420 BAD singer. He's just always been a little... flat. 00:24:06.880 --> 00:24:08.880 But not this morning. 00:24:09.480 --> 00:24:12.460 Today he... he sounded like an angel. 00:24:14.020 --> 00:24:17.220 And I don't know why, but it frightened me. 00:24:18.300 --> 00:24:26.040 It just... It didn't sound like MY Sam. Oh, I must sound silly. I'm probably just imagining things . . . 00:24:26.920 --> 00:24:28.380 Charlotte? 00:24:28.390 --> 00:24:29.830 Do you remember 00:24:29.830 --> 00:24:31.890 WHAT Sam was singing? 00:24:33.040 --> 00:24:35.620 It was just a silly little song. 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:37.840 Something like, um, 00:24:37.840 --> 00:24:38.980 La 00:24:38.980 --> 00:24:39.740 Dee 00:24:39.740 --> 00:24:42.640 Dah dah day? 00:24:43.720 --> 00:24:46.256 Paul. Mr. Davidson wants to see you in his office. 00:24:46.260 --> 00:24:49.960 Oh shoot, I forgot to hand in my weekly reports yesterday. I'm gonna get it! 00:24:49.960 --> 00:24:52.160 Ah, ho ho ho ho ho! 00:24:56.980 --> 00:25:03.380 Hey Mr. Davidson, I think I know why you called me in here today. My weekly reports were not turned in yesterday, 00:25:04.320 --> 00:25:08.330 Not because they're not done. They are done. There's a problem with the printer network, 00:25:08.330 --> 00:25:11.660 You see, you try to print something over here, it gets sent over there. (Laughs nervously) 00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:17.540 I bet my report is sitting in someone else's printer tray right now. You give me til the end of the day, I can find it. 00:25:18.930 --> 00:25:23.810 Not do it. I- I- I wouldn't just not do my statistical analysis. 00:25:23.810 --> 00:25:24.420 (Laughs nervously) 00:25:24.660 --> 00:25:28.160 That would really gum things up here in the office. And that's the last thing I want, 00:25:28.760 --> 00:25:29.420 (Piano Note) 00:25:30.980 --> 00:25:32.980 (Singing) What do you want, Paul? 00:25:34.140 --> 00:25:35.160 (Speaking) Excuse me? 00:25:35.520 --> 00:25:40.220 (Singing) Tell me what you desire to see. Your deepest intent, Paul. 00:25:42.060 --> 00:25:44.479 What do ya see for this company? 00:25:45.260 --> 00:25:51.340 I'm looking for someone with strong ambition. Someone to sell their specific vision, 00:25:51.860 --> 00:25:56.100 Someone to share with precise precision their thoughts . . . 00:25:56.280 --> 00:25:58.280 'Cause I want you to want, 00:25:59.600 --> 00:26:03.140 To want. (Speaking) So what do you want, Paul? 00:26:04.100 --> 00:26:07.580 What's that one concrete goal that motivates all your actions? 00:26:07.580 --> 00:26:08.820 I don't think I have one of those. 00:26:08.820 --> 00:26:11.720 Well then, how is anyone supposed to sympathize with you, Paul? 00:26:11.720 --> 00:26:13.400 I dunno, I want money or- 00:26:13.400 --> 00:26:14.920 (Singing)I want you to want, Paul! 00:26:16.120 --> 00:26:19.760 A man so vague just can't be trusted. 00:26:19.900 --> 00:26:21.580 Something you pine for! 00:26:21.820 --> 00:26:22.700 (Speaking) Mr. Davidson? 00:26:23.080 --> 00:26:25.940 (Singing) Maybe someone who keeps you lusting. 00:26:26.380 --> 00:26:29.260 I'm just a boss, I'm not an idea guy. 00:26:29.380 --> 00:26:32.200 I hire you, Paul, to keep our stock high. 00:26:32.540 --> 00:26:36.960 But you if you can't pin that point that's in the sky! 00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:38.500 Then I want you to want! 00:26:39.900 --> 00:26:41.360 To want! 00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:46.260 Do you know what I want for myself? 00:26:47.520 --> 00:26:48.400 (Speaking) Okay? 00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:51.720 (Singing) I've waited for so long 00:26:51.720 --> 00:26:54.420 To tell somebody else. 00:26:55.060 --> 00:26:56.480 Carol, 00:26:56.480 --> 00:27:01.420 My wife, you're my muse, my source of light. 00:27:01.920 --> 00:27:03.180 Carol, 00:27:03.220 --> 00:27:07.580 My love, I want you to choke me out at night. 00:27:07.580 --> 00:27:08.120 (Speaking) Uh huh? 00:27:08.120 --> 00:27:10.360 (Singing) I want you to choke me, 00:27:10.500 --> 00:27:11.660 (Speaking) Seems like a private moment. 00:27:11.660 --> 00:27:13.460 (Singing) I want you to choke me, 00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:14.760 (Speaking) Like who is this for? 00:27:14.760 --> 00:27:19.140 (Speaking) I want you to choke me, while I jerk off. 00:27:20.700 --> 00:27:25.500 I want you to choke me while I jerk off! 00:27:26.460 --> 00:27:28.920 (Speaking) Melissa, get my wife on the phone for me. 00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:30.540 Mr. Davidson, I think I should leave. 00:27:30.540 --> 00:27:33.720 No Paul! I want you to hear this, if you leave you're fired. 00:27:35.880 --> 00:27:37.080 Carol! 00:27:37.080 --> 00:27:39.460 Yes, everything's fine. I promise. 00:27:40.280 --> 00:27:41.540 I just uh, 00:27:41.540 --> 00:27:44.000 Wanted to tell you something. (clicks tongue twice) 00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:45.480 I uh, 00:27:46.900 --> 00:27:47.860 Mmmm 00:27:48.180 --> 00:27:51.220 Heh heh heh heh heh heh . . . 00:27:52.140 --> 00:27:53.280 I uh, 00:27:58.460 --> 00:28:00.620 I forgot what I wanted to say . . . 00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:04.640 Maybe someday I'll remember. 00:28:05.620 --> 00:28:06.880 Goodbye. 00:28:09.460 --> 00:28:13.500 (Singing) Paul! Now you know what it is to want! 00:28:13.820 --> 00:28:15.200 (Speaking) I wanna go home! 00:28:15.480 --> 00:28:21.400 (Singing) It consumes a man with the passion to drive the primary plot. 00:28:22.180 --> 00:28:28.340 So take up yoga or improv classes, volunteer at shelters, or Twitch to the masses, 00:28:28.340 --> 00:28:32.820 There's gotta be something that'll keep my hands on you! 00:28:33.240 --> 00:28:34.420 - I want you! - (Speaking) Oh hell no. 00:28:34.520 --> 00:28:35.940 (Singing) Cause I want you to want. 00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:37.900 (Speaking) Mr. Davidson, I'm going to get some coffee, do you want anything? 00:28:37.900 --> 00:28:39.500 (Singing) No, I need you to want! 00:28:39.500 --> 00:28:41.020 (Yelling) How about an iced caramel frappe? Nothing better? 00:28:41.020 --> 00:28:42.500 (Singing) And if you don't want, 00:28:43.980 --> 00:28:45.240 We're through. 00:28:46.120 --> 00:28:46.900 Paul? 00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:48.760 Paul? 00:28:49.740 --> 00:28:54.600 PAUL! 00:28:58.740 --> 00:29:01.340 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, 00:29:01.760 --> 00:29:07.440 Okay, alright. This isn't happening. Get a grip, Paul, you're hallucinating. Better yet, 00:29:07.580 --> 00:29:13.340 You're still dreaming. You need to wake up, you need some coffee. That's it. Just a nice cup of black coffee, 00:29:13.660 --> 00:29:16.240 Nothing in it. No cream. No sugar. Just black coffee! 00:29:17.480 --> 00:29:18.320 (Bell chimes) 00:29:20.120 --> 00:29:21.180 HELLO?! 00:29:22.080 --> 00:29:23.220 HELLO?!? 00:29:23.460 --> 00:29:26.640 Please God, I just want a black coffee! 00:29:28.820 --> 00:29:31.780 (Singing) Black coffee, I'm your coffee gal, 00:29:31.780 --> 00:29:32.420 NO!!! 00:29:32.420 --> 00:29:33.160 (Singing) Here a coffee- 00:29:33.800 --> 00:29:34.800 No! 00:29:35.320 --> 00:29:38.120 Not you too, Emma, please God stop singing! 00:29:38.180 --> 00:29:44.380 Okay. Okay. I'll stop. Oh, I didn't forget. You're the guy who doesn't like musicals, Paul, right? 00:29:45.380 --> 00:29:46.549 Emma. 00:29:46.549 --> 00:29:48.549 You're talking to me, 00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:50.320 like a normal person. 00:29:50.320 --> 00:29:54.580 Uh, yeah, and if my boss catches me, I'll get canned. Uh, new company policy 00:29:54.860 --> 00:30:01.180 Not only do we have to sing when people tip but when they enter, when they order, all the time apparently! 00:30:01.660 --> 00:30:06.240 Emma, I think there's something terribly wrong with the world today. 00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:07.899 Yeah fucking tell me about it. 00:30:08.800 --> 00:30:12.960 I spent the entire morning learning some dumb ass new tip song, I'm exhausted. 00:30:13.600 --> 00:30:14.100 Do-? 00:30:14.720 --> 00:30:15.220 Emma, 00:30:15.600 --> 00:30:16.100 Emma, 00:30:16.420 --> 00:30:16.920 Emma, 00:30:17.120 --> 00:30:17.680 Emma, 00:30:19.380 --> 00:30:21.540 I feel like there's something . . . 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:23.200 Sinister, 00:30:23.200 --> 00:30:27.140 Infecting Hatchetfield, and I know this is gonna sound crazy, 00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:33.160 And not very scary, but it is scary if you think about the implications. 00:30:34.320 --> 00:30:36.420 Promise me you'll think about the implications? 00:30:36.420 --> 00:30:38.220 Okay. Okay, I promise. 00:30:38.220 --> 00:30:42.180 Okay, Emma. I think the world is becoming . . . 00:30:43.020 --> 00:30:44.580 A musical. 00:30:46.120 --> 00:30:46.860 Um I- 00:30:46.860 --> 00:30:49.500 Don't say anything. Let it sink in. 00:30:49.500 --> 00:30:50.000 Okay. 00:30:50.500 --> 00:30:52.180 Okay, now, 00:30:53.280 --> 00:30:55.280 Are you frightened? 00:30:56.300 --> 00:30:58.700 Uh yeah, I think I am starting to get a little frightened . . . 00:30:58.700 --> 00:30:59.200 You should be! 00:30:59.900 --> 00:31:00.560 You should be, 00:31:00.560 --> 00:31:01.620 Okay, I think you should sit down and wait for me- 00:31:01.940 --> 00:31:03.780 Emma! Tip! 00:31:03.780 --> 00:31:07.640 Oh, thank god. Sorry Paul, I gotta do this dumbass tip song. Sorry! 00:31:09.540 --> 00:31:14.260 (Singing) Get your cup of roasted coffee. Good morning cuppa joe-y. 00:31:14.600 --> 00:31:17.620 With your jamming cup of java, mocha latte with the froth for you jack 00:31:17.620 --> 00:31:18.140 (Clap) 00:31:18.980 --> 00:31:23.900 Frappuccino with a freshly roasted mung beans. It's a caramel drizzle mod in a cup! 00:31:24.450 --> 00:31:28.760 With a drip, drip, drip drip, drip. And we'll bring it right up! 00:31:29.700 --> 00:31:34.260 - Hey Mr. Business, how do you do? - Oooo, Oooo. 00:31:34.780 --> 00:31:38.700 - Can we get a triple for you? - Oooo, Oooo. 00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:40.460 Decaf? 00:31:41.120 --> 00:31:42.460 What? 00:31:42.460 --> 00:31:43.220 Decaf? 00:31:43.780 --> 00:31:45.040 What? 00:31:45.040 --> 00:31:47.440 Dit dit, dee de dit, dee de dit, dee de dit 00:31:47.500 --> 00:31:48.820 And we'll bring it right up! 00:31:48.820 --> 00:31:49.900 Oi oi oi! 00:32:01.160 --> 00:32:01.660 (Singing) Emma! 00:32:03.800 --> 00:32:04.520 (Speaking) Hold on . . . 00:32:09.580 --> 00:32:10.860 (Sips) 00:32:12.060 --> 00:32:12.860 Ahhh! 00:32:13.540 --> 00:32:15.560 (Singing) And we'll bring it, 00:32:16.060 --> 00:32:18.240 And we'll bring it, 00:32:18.920 --> 00:32:20.900 Right, right, right, 00:32:20.900 --> 00:32:22.720 And we'll bring it right up! 00:32:23.060 --> 00:32:24.300 (Music Continues) 00:32:24.300 --> 00:32:28.700 (Speaking) God, wait. Hey! What is this? 00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:31.200 There's more? 00:32:32.620 --> 00:32:33.120 Nora! 00:32:33.720 --> 00:32:37.580 Hey! Hey! You know what alright alright stop stop stop! 00:32:37.580 --> 00:32:38.240 (Music stops) 00:32:38.740 --> 00:32:41.640 What is that? A whole other A section? 00:32:42.700 --> 00:32:44.700 God! When did you learn that? You know what? 00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:47.140 When I got this job, 00:32:47.420 --> 00:32:51.840 I signed up to serve coffee and cold shitty pastries. 00:32:51.840 --> 00:32:56.220 If I wanted to be in a musical, I'd be in a damn musical! 00:32:56.820 --> 00:33:04.620 Yeah, that's right Zoey. I was in Brigadoon in high school and I fucking killed it 00:33:05.800 --> 00:33:07.240 But now, 00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:13.240 I'm just trying to make ends meet while I work my way through Community College and I can do that just as easily, 00:33:13.480 --> 00:33:15.480 down the street at, 00:33:15.730 --> 00:33:18.000 Starbucks, I quit. 00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:19.600 (Singsongy Voice) You can't quit Emma. 00:33:19.780 --> 00:33:21.780 Yeah, I sure as hell can. 00:33:21.780 --> 00:33:27.220 The song is so simple. We'll teach it to you! Why everyone here will be singing it soon! (coughing) 00:33:27.380 --> 00:33:29.120 What are you talking about? 00:33:29.120 --> 00:33:34.500 (Coughing) They've all had their coffee, their apotheosis will be upon them at any moment. 00:33:34.720 --> 00:33:36.660 Wait, what did you do to their coffee?! 00:33:38.380 --> 00:33:40.380 Fucking gross! 00:33:42.020 --> 00:33:43.580 - (Singing) Getcha cuppa poison coffee! 00:33:43.580 --> 00:33:44.840 - (Singing) Getcha cuppa poison coffee! - (Speaking) What is this? What is this? 00:33:44.840 --> 00:33:45.800 - Ya toxic cuppa joey! 00:33:45.800 --> 00:33:46.300 - Ya toxic cuppa joey! - (Speaking) What? 00:33:46.300 --> 00:33:49.940 We'll make a twisted cuppa Java mocha latte with the goo for you, Jack, 00:33:49.940 --> 00:33:51.900 Jack, Jack, Jack! 00:33:51.980 --> 00:33:54.460 Hey, Mr. Business, 00:33:54.460 --> 00:33:59.560 [All:] How do ya, how do ya, how do ya doooo? 00:33:59.600 --> 00:34:01.960 (Speaking) They're singing! Why are they all singing?! 00:34:02.060 --> 00:34:04.360 We need to run, Emma. Don't hold back, just run! 00:34:04.680 --> 00:34:05.960 (Singing) We'll make a double for you! 00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:08.160 Hey, Mr. Business! 00:34:08.160 --> 00:34:10.160 And we'll bring it right up! 00:34:16.420 --> 00:34:16.920 Ah? 00:34:17.120 --> 00:34:18.320 Emma they're here! 00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:19.300 They're here Emma! 00:34:19.340 --> 00:34:20.680 What? No! It's too narrow! 00:34:20.680 --> 00:34:22.420 No trust me I- 00:34:22.420 --> 00:34:23.920 I- used to live around here 00:34:23.920 --> 00:34:26.900 It's uh- a- a- an alleyway near where I used to live it's- 00:34:27.400 --> 00:34:27.900 God!? 00:34:27.900 --> 00:34:28.960 Nobody will follow us here 00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:33.600 Who- Who's decision was it to line an alleyway with tons of shrubs? 00:34:33.600 --> 00:34:34.340 No- 00:34:34.780 --> 00:34:38.460 I heard it was like, at one point they were going to make it into a park and- 00:34:38.460 --> 00:34:39.300 What? 00:34:39.300 --> 00:34:41.440 Yeah, they were gonna make it into a park and they just stopped. 00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:45.780 Listen- Paul? There are a lot of dead ends around here I just wanna make sure you know where you're going? 00:34:45.820 --> 00:34:46.600 No, Yeah, so- 00:34:46.600 --> 00:34:47.440 are you-? 00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:48.300 There's a dead end here so? 00:34:48.300 --> 00:34:50.140 Okay . . . 00:34:50.140 --> 00:34:51.580 I'm sorry, just go the other way again 00:34:51.580 --> 00:34:53.580 Alright fine, fine, fine. 00:34:53.580 --> 00:34:58.480 So uh, I know this probably a bad time but uh, what do you like-, do you like film? 00:34:58.480 --> 00:35:01.140 Yeah ah, you know what that is, that is, a bad time. 00:35:01.140 --> 00:35:02.620 Wait! Paul! 00:35:02.620 --> 00:35:04.200 Oh wait an alley, how'd I miss that? 00:35:04.200 --> 00:35:06.220 Th- th- the trash cans, go. 00:35:07.200 --> 00:35:07.860 Oh my god! 00:35:07.860 --> 00:35:09.640 Oh my god what the fuck was that?! 00:35:09.640 --> 00:35:12.420 I told it was scarier than it sounds! 00:35:12.420 --> 00:35:16.280 You were right, I didn't think about the implications. 00:35:18.300 --> 00:35:20.740 Oh my god I didn't think about it! 00:35:20.740 --> 00:35:22.220 Emma, Emma, shh . . . 00:35:22.220 --> 00:35:23.600 It's all right, okay? 00:35:23.600 --> 00:35:24.300 (Banging) Ahhhh! 00:35:24.300 --> 00:35:26.180 No- it's not alright Paul! 00:35:26.180 --> 00:35:28.520 Bill! You scared the shit out of us. 00:35:28.520 --> 00:35:32.300 Well how the hell am I supposed to pop out of a trash can and not scare the shit out of you? 00:35:33.640 --> 00:35:36.840 I don't know give us a warning or something next time, you know 00:35:36.840 --> 00:35:38.780 (Repeated Banging) Ahh! 00:35:38.780 --> 00:35:39.940 Charlotte! 00:35:39.940 --> 00:35:41.300 Sorry, I tried to warn you bu- 00:35:41.300 --> 00:35:44.020 Oh my god! Who are these people? 00:35:44.020 --> 00:35:45.080 They're my friends from work. 00:35:45.080 --> 00:35:46.520 What are they doing in the trash? 00:35:46.520 --> 00:35:48.100 Well we had to find a place to hide, 00:35:48.100 --> 00:35:51.560 Mr. Davidson's kept calling people into his office and they kept coming out singing! 00:35:51.620 --> 00:35:54.580 It was the same at the bank, the butchers, and the post office. 00:35:54.580 --> 00:35:56.580 It's all downtown, we were just at Beanies! 00:35:56.580 --> 00:35:57.820 (Bang) Ahhh! 00:35:57.820 --> 00:35:58.720 You didn't invite me?! 00:35:58.720 --> 00:35:59.740 Jesus Ted! 00:35:59.740 --> 00:36:00.980 Shh! Shhh! 00:36:00.980 --> 00:36:02.980 Shut the fuck up, Paul! 00:36:03.230 --> 00:36:06.880 Alright? If you want to stay in our hiding spot, you got to be quiet. 00:36:06.880 --> 00:36:12.240 All right, there's something going on and we don't know what it is or who we can trust so Paul, 00:36:12.740 --> 00:36:15.800 (Tap tap) Get in your trashcan. You, beat it! 00:36:16.260 --> 00:36:18.480 Uhh Fuck you? 00:36:18.480 --> 00:36:20.600 No, no Emma stays with us. 00:36:20.600 --> 00:36:22.600 I don't know her! 00:36:22.600 --> 00:36:24.600 Yeah you do! She's the . . . 00:36:24.980 --> 00:36:27.680 She's the barista from Beanies the- 00:36:28.310 --> 00:36:30.020 You know, 00:36:30.020 --> 00:36:32.520 Th- 'the latte-hottie' 00:36:34.920 --> 00:36:35.420 What? 00:36:40.300 --> 00:36:42.720 Paul that is not the latte hottie. 00:36:42.740 --> 00:36:48.100 That's the crabby one who won't sing when I tip her! You grabbed the wrong one! You noodle! Fuck! 00:36:48.100 --> 00:36:49.620 (Police Sirens) 00:36:49.620 --> 00:36:53.020 Oh, oh! Thank god! They're here! I- I called Sam, he'll get us out of this! 00:36:53.020 --> 00:36:58.000 Sam, sweetheart? Sam baby? Oh Sam thank god you're here. They've gone crazy! 00:36:58.000 --> 00:36:59.660 Everyone's gone crazy! 00:36:59.940 --> 00:37:01.660 (Music Starts) 00:37:01.900 --> 00:37:02.400 Wha-? 00:37:05.660 --> 00:37:07.620 (Singing) Ma'am I need ya to take a step back. 00:37:07.620 --> 00:37:08.120 (Speaking) Huh? 00:37:08.120 --> 00:37:11.180 (Singing) You're facing the law, not the clerk at the Ga- ap. 00:37:11.180 --> 00:37:12.720 - Yeah we're cops, - (Speaking) Oh! 00:37:12.900 --> 00:37:15.100 Yeah we're cops. You better shape on up. 00:37:15.140 --> 00:37:16.840 (Speaking) Get away from him Charlotte. He's one of them! 00:37:16.840 --> 00:37:17.400 Wha-? Oh? 00:37:17.400 --> 00:37:24.900 (Singing) You better empty out all of them pockets, but don't (Slap) empty out all of them pockets. Yeah we're cops, 00:37:24.900 --> 00:37:28.000 Yeah we're cops and we make sense. 00:37:29.400 --> 00:37:32.940 Show me your hands! Show me those jazz hands, 00:37:32.980 --> 00:37:35.660 - Get em up or you'll end up in cuffs - (Speaking) Ah! 00:37:35.660 --> 00:37:38.760 (Singing) Show me those hands, show me those jazz hands! 00:37:38.760 --> 00:37:42.700 - Or I might be inclined to shoot you up. - (Speaking) Whoa. Aw Fuck. 00:37:42.780 --> 00:37:44.920 Hey look, my I.D is in my back pocket 00:37:44.920 --> 00:37:47.580 (Singing) You go 40 in 35, 00:37:47.580 --> 00:37:50.400 Check your mirror you'll find hell has arrived. 00:37:50.840 --> 00:37:53.360 - Cause we're cops, yeah we're cops. - (Yelling) Ow! 00:37:53.360 --> 00:37:54.840 We're up in your shit. 00:37:57.660 --> 00:37:59.320 Cathy lost her cat in a tree, 00:37:59.960 --> 00:38:02.480 Contact Fire, not the HFPD, 00:38:03.160 --> 00:38:05.580 Cause we're cops, yeah we're cops. 00:38:05.860 --> 00:38:07.320 Her cat is dead. 00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:12.260 Show me your hands, show me those jazz hands! 00:38:12.260 --> 00:38:14.880 Get 'em up, or you'll end up in cuffs. 00:38:14.880 --> 00:38:18.440 Show me those hands, show me those jazz hands. 00:38:18.440 --> 00:38:21.360 Or I might be inclined . . . 00:38:21.540 --> 00:38:24.620 Step away from the vehicle, step away from the vehicle 00:38:24.760 --> 00:38:27.600 Get back in the vehicle, you get back in the vehicle! 00:38:27.600 --> 00:38:30.800 Slowly get out of the vehicle, Slowly get out of the vehicle. 00:38:31.680 --> 00:38:33.740 Do the things I say! 00:38:33.740 --> 00:38:34.460 I'm a cop. 00:38:34.460 --> 00:38:37.600 - Get those hands up, get those hands up - Step away from the vehicle, step away from the vehicle - (siren noises) 00:38:37.800 --> 00:38:40.720 - Put those hands down, put those hands down. - Get back in the vehicle, get back in the vehicle. - (Siren noises) 00:38:40.800 --> 00:38:44.180 - Get those hands up, get those hands up. - Slowly get out of the vehicle, slowly get out of the vehicle. - (Siren noises) 00:38:44.460 --> 00:38:46.520 - Up! Down! - Do the things I say! - (Siren noises) 00:38:46.540 --> 00:38:47.280 I'm a cop. 00:38:47.720 --> 00:38:50.720 9-1-1 emergency call. Got a 4-1-1 at your shopping mall. 00:38:51.040 --> 00:38:54.140 Better pack your heat and utility belt. Any mall-rats comin' in hot, they melt. 00:38:54.140 --> 00:38:55.560 Serg, it's your wife on the 9-1-1. 00:38:55.560 --> 00:38:56.720 What that bitch want, Serg? 00:38:56.720 --> 00:38:57.680 She just wants a snug. 00:38:57.680 --> 00:39:00.680 Grab your 9 millimeter and donut bucket. Want my badge number? Put it in your mouth and SUCK IT! 00:39:00.680 --> 00:39:04.240 (Speaking) Oh Sam, sweetheart . . . I'm your wife. 00:39:04.440 --> 00:39:07.320 Sam baby, just talk to me. 00:39:09.160 --> 00:39:09.880 (Speaking) Charlotte! 00:39:10.080 --> 00:39:10.580 Sam? 00:39:13.180 --> 00:39:13.860 (Gun cocks) 00:39:13.860 --> 00:39:14.460 (Screams) 00:39:14.460 --> 00:39:18.060 - (Singing) Show me your hands, show me those jazz hands! - doo bop a da-ba da-ba, doo bop a da-ba da-ba, 00:39:18.140 --> 00:39:20.540 - Get em up or they'll end up in cuffs. - doo bop a da-ba da-bop, 00:39:20.860 --> 00:39:24.060 - Show me those hands, show me those jazz hands! - doo bop a da-ba da-ba, doo bop a da-ba da-ba, 00:39:24.220 --> 00:39:27.620 Or I might be inclinced to shoot you- 00:39:27.620 --> 00:39:28.840 (metal clang) (scream) 00:39:29.060 --> 00:39:29.560 (Speaking) Woah! 00:39:29.700 --> 00:39:30.820 Oh my god! 00:39:30.820 --> 00:39:33.000 J-just get back! 00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:36.020 Just stay away, just leave us alone! 00:39:36.740 --> 00:39:39.740 (Alien/Turkey noises) 00:39:40.580 --> 00:39:42.780 Oh my god! 00:39:43.160 --> 00:39:44.200 Oh my god! 00:39:44.200 --> 00:39:45.960 He- His head is open! 00:39:45.960 --> 00:39:47.940 Well I had to do something! 00:39:47.940 --> 00:39:50.400 Oh! Oh- oh my god! 00:39:50.500 --> 00:39:52.400 His brain fell out! 00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:52.900 What? 00:39:54.100 --> 00:39:55.840 Well put it back then! 00:39:55.840 --> 00:39:57.700 Oh I don't know how, I'm not a doctor! 00:39:57.700 --> 00:40:00.740 Charlotte, look at that! That's not his brain, its' blue! 00:40:00.740 --> 00:40:02.680 Well how do you know? You're not a doctor either! 00:40:02.780 --> 00:40:03.800 Augh! 00:40:03.800 --> 00:40:06.920 I need to see a doctor, he needs to get to the doctor, Sam baby . . . 00:40:06.920 --> 00:40:08.100 No, uh, listen, listen . . . 00:40:08.100 --> 00:40:10.020 Charlotte- Charlotte right? 00:40:10.320 --> 00:40:11.560 I'm Charlotte. 00:40:11.560 --> 00:40:14.740 Yes! Okay listen, we have to get out of downtown. 00:40:14.760 --> 00:40:19.760 Okay? Downtown is fucked. The hospital is downtown, we can't go there. 00:40:19.760 --> 00:40:22.380 But he needs to see a doctor, he needs to see a doctor. Sam, we're gonna get you to a doctor . . . 00:40:22.380 --> 00:40:24.720 Um okay, okay . . . Oh! 00:40:24.720 --> 00:40:31.820 Oh okay! Okay! I know where we can go, I have this like kooky, reclusive Biology professor, Professor Hidgens! 00:40:31.820 --> 00:40:37.360 Yes! I'm his favorite student, 'cause I brought his groceries once. Anyway, he has a doctorate! 00:40:37.660 --> 00:40:39.660 That's kind of like a doctor, right? 00:40:39.730 --> 00:40:44.909 He could help your husband, probably! And um, he's got like a lab in his house, and a-security . . . 00:40:44.909 --> 00:40:47.640 His whole house is like a panic room! He's like a . . . Um . . . 00:40:48.220 --> 00:40:50.200 What do you call a guy that live in a fortress? 00:40:50.200 --> 00:40:50.900 A king! 00:40:50.900 --> 00:40:54.780 No! No, he's like a . . . um. . . a Doomsday . . . 00:40:54.780 --> 00:40:59.640 Survivalist! Yes! He thinks the world is ending, he's been preparing for the last 20 years for the apocalypse. 00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:00.680 The apocalypse? 00:41:00.720 --> 00:41:03.340 Is that what this is? Maybe we should go to a church. 00:41:03.340 --> 00:41:05.500 No! No, no no no, no, Charlotte 00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:07.799 We are all from different denominations, alright? 00:41:08.340 --> 00:41:13.460 We cannot split up. I am a presbyterian. I'm not gonna die in your dirty ass Methodist Church, alright? 00:41:15.140 --> 00:41:18.840 I say, we go to the panic room and we beg for the King's help. 00:41:19.780 --> 00:41:24.760 Charlotte, I think the best thing for all of us, including Sam, would be to get to the professor. 00:41:24.760 --> 00:41:25.260 Yeah . . . 00:41:25.260 --> 00:41:27.340 Well, let's go now. We can take the squad car. 00:41:27.340 --> 00:41:28.580 Uh, help me with him. 00:41:29.180 --> 00:41:29.680 Did you see this? 00:41:29.720 --> 00:41:30.860 I don't need to see it, thank you. 00:41:38.080 --> 00:41:41.680 This is Hatchetfield Action News with Dan and Donna! 00:41:42.050 --> 00:41:49.389 What began as a series of isolated incidents has escalated into what some are calling a musical riot. 00:41:49.460 --> 00:41:50.840 Good god! 00:41:51.160 --> 00:41:53.920 It's spreading faster than I theorized! 00:41:54.280 --> 00:42:01.320 Despite several reports of violence, the Hatchetfield Police have assured Channel 9 there is no cause for alarm. 00:42:01.320 --> 00:42:03.500 Because they're part of it, Donna! 00:42:03.760 --> 00:42:08.900 Nevertheless, our skittish neighbors in Clivesdale have raised the Nantucket Bridge. 00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:16.900 With the ferries down for the season and no accessible means off the island, Hatchetfield citizens are advised to stay indoors 00:42:16.920 --> 00:42:17.420 (TV switch) 00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:20.960 Like fish in a barrel! 00:42:22.480 --> 00:42:26.400 Of course the outside world is no help! It's up to us now, Alexa. 00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:27.360 (Alexa chime) 00:42:28.520 --> 00:42:29.640 (Doorbell buzz) 00:42:36.140 --> 00:42:37.060 Who is it? 00:42:37.360 --> 00:42:38.260 Professor Hidgens! 00:42:38.260 --> 00:42:40.840 Don't lie to me, whoever you are! I'm Professor Hidgens! 00:42:43.520 --> 00:42:44.540 No 00:42:44.540 --> 00:42:49.320 No Professor, it's me Emma Perkins? The whole town has gone crazy, I didn't know where else to go. 00:42:49.320 --> 00:42:53.640 Emma! You've come to the right place! Hold on I'll let you in. Alexa! Open the gates! 00:42:53.640 --> 00:42:54.480 (Alexa chime) 00:42:54.800 --> 00:42:55.920 (doorbell buzz) 00:42:57.560 --> 00:43:00.700 Oh my god! Thank you, Professor! Thank you! 00:43:00.700 --> 00:43:03.860 Oh these are my friends, this is Paul and... Them. 00:43:05.180 --> 00:43:09.480 We came from downtown. Now listen, this is going to sound crazy, but everyone 00:43:09.480 --> 00:43:09.980 Singing? 00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:16.860 and dancing? Like a musical? They want you to join them, once they get you, you're a part of it! 00:43:17.600 --> 00:43:19.660 Uh yeah, how did you know? 00:43:19.660 --> 00:43:24.020 I theorized this exact scenario 30 years ago! 00:43:26.900 --> 00:43:27.640 Really? 00:43:28.160 --> 00:43:28.920 Really! 00:43:29.420 --> 00:43:30.600 Like exactly this? 00:43:30.600 --> 00:43:31.820 Exactly! 00:43:32.300 --> 00:43:34.300 That the world would become a musical? 00:43:34.300 --> 00:43:35.660 You'd better believe it! 00:43:36.520 --> 00:43:39.080 Wait. So that's what's wrong with Sam? 00:43:39.540 --> 00:43:41.960 Good god! Don't tell me you brought one of them here! 00:43:41.960 --> 00:43:42.760 (screams) 00:43:42.760 --> 00:43:44.200 Told you we should have left him in the alley! 00:43:44.200 --> 00:43:45.200 You're a monster, Ted! 00:43:45.200 --> 00:43:46.540 No! He's a monster! 00:43:46.540 --> 00:43:48.620 Alright, everybody calm down! 00:43:49.640 --> 00:43:53.580 Providence has brought him to me. Quickly! Cuff him to the chair, 00:43:53.590 --> 00:43:57.670 Make sure he's secure. There's no telling what would happen if he were awake and loose. 00:43:58.370 --> 00:44:04.720 I've been preparing for this day for decades. Now, all of the answers are right in front of me! 00:44:05.780 --> 00:44:07.820 If only I have the wits to decipher them. 00:44:08.680 --> 00:44:09.320 Alright. 00:44:11.740 --> 00:44:12.940 (squelch) 00:44:15.640 --> 00:44:16.140 Now. 00:44:16.420 --> 00:44:17.740 Tell me Emma 00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:20.540 What on earth does that look like to you? 00:44:20.540 --> 00:44:25.200 Oh God. Um, I don't know some kind of blue... 00:44:25.720 --> 00:44:26.920 shit? 00:44:28.720 --> 00:44:30.160 Exactly Emma! 00:44:30.820 --> 00:44:32.960 What the fuck is this shit? 00:44:36.100 --> 00:44:38.200 I'll tell you what on Earth it looks like 00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:39.860 Nothing. 00:44:40.400 --> 00:44:44.440 You all remember that meteor that crashed into the Starlight Theater last night? 00:44:44.820 --> 00:44:53.300 I dare say it carried a deadly cargo. A contagious pathogen of cosmic origin. 00:44:53.300 --> 00:44:57.600 Wait a second, doc. Don't tell me you're talking about... aliens? 00:44:57.820 --> 00:44:59.740 Why is that so hard to believe? 00:44:59.740 --> 00:45:04.419 Think of all that we take for granted now that was once fortold in the pages of Bradbury and Azimuth. 00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:07.860 Look no further than my robot assistant... 00:45:08.560 --> 00:45:09.280 Alexa. 00:45:09.280 --> 00:45:10.240 (Alexa chime) 00:45:11.120 --> 00:45:16.580 Once confined to the realm of science fiction, she is now science fact! 00:45:18.840 --> 00:45:19.380 Alexa! 00:45:19.380 --> 00:45:20.160 (Alexa chime) 00:45:21.120 --> 00:45:22.340 Dim the lights. 00:45:27.140 --> 00:45:28.560 Extraordinary! 00:45:30.440 --> 00:45:33.040 Twenty years ago, I would have had to walk all the way to the dimmer! 00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:43.090 Now, as unbelievable as this or the outbreak may seem, the question is no longer can this be happening 00:45:44.120 --> 00:45:45.980 But how do we stop it? 00:45:45.980 --> 00:45:50.919 I've got to get this blue shit beneath a microscope to find out what makes these bastards tick 00:45:51.560 --> 00:45:52.720 Sorry professor? 00:45:53.270 --> 00:45:55.260 This is a lot to take in 00:45:55.610 --> 00:45:57.910 Do you have anything to take the edge off like? 00:45:58.550 --> 00:46:00.550 Drink or something? 00:46:01.570 --> 00:46:03.040 Young man 00:46:03.040 --> 00:46:05.040 For the past 27 years 00:46:05.100 --> 00:46:12.000 I have been stockpiling the bare essentials needed for human survival in the events of a world ending cataclysm 00:46:12.700 --> 00:46:14.780 You bet your ass we got booze! Come with me. 00:46:17.280 --> 00:46:18.320 Oh Sam, baby... 00:46:19.600 --> 00:46:23.640 Come on Charlotte, we'll make you a drink, we can relax, 00:46:23.900 --> 00:46:24.980 talk, 00:46:25.220 --> 00:46:26.300 fuck 00:46:27.600 --> 00:46:28.580 Ted! 00:46:29.060 --> 00:46:33.720 I can't believe you're thinking about that at a time like this! The whole world could be coming to an end! 00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:39.599 Well if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna go out doing the thing I love 00:46:41.800 --> 00:46:43.800 Screwin around with another man's wife 00:46:45.200 --> 00:46:48.640 Ted! You're such a horny bastard! 00:46:54.220 --> 00:46:55.803 Always have been. 00:46:55.803 --> 00:46:57.200 Always will be. 00:46:57.200 --> 00:46:59.640 And you know that's why I can't resist you! 00:47:02.480 --> 00:47:03.220 Wait! 00:47:03.600 --> 00:47:04.360 Ted! 00:47:04.680 --> 00:47:07.600 My husband's brains fell out today. 00:47:07.980 --> 00:47:10.160 If I can't be a wife to him now, 00:47:10.560 --> 00:47:11.780 What kind of woman am I? 00:47:11.780 --> 00:47:14.220 Oh, I don't know Charlotte. I'm not your therapist! 00:47:15.220 --> 00:47:21.220 You know, maybe you should go back to fucking him. Hmm? I know that's why you actually went to counseling 00:47:21.220 --> 00:47:23.120 I mean that's not the only reason! 00:47:23.680 --> 00:47:26.250 I wanted to make things work with Sam. 00:47:27.040 --> 00:47:28.380 I love him. 00:47:28.840 --> 00:47:31.220 I know I shouldn't but I do... 00:47:31.220 --> 00:47:34.260 No Charlotte! This guy is a scumbag, alright? 00:47:35.020 --> 00:47:37.020 You could upgrade... 00:47:37.660 --> 00:47:39.660 To a sleazeball 00:47:42.980 --> 00:47:44.980 But you refuse to be happy 00:47:45.890 --> 00:47:50.619 You know what Charlotte? I'm done, alright? So you could stay here with your dying marriage and your dying husband 00:47:51.800 --> 00:47:53.800 I'm gonna go hit on that crabby barista 00:47:55.500 --> 00:47:56.320 Wait, no. 00:47:56.560 --> 00:47:57.060 Ted! 00:47:57.380 --> 00:47:57.880 Wait! 00:47:58.060 --> 00:48:00.460 Oh God! 00:48:02.720 --> 00:48:05.620 Oh, God? 00:48:06.100 --> 00:48:10.680 God, if you're up there and you can hear me, it's me Charlotte. 00:48:11.510 --> 00:48:15.130 You just gotta know... I didn't want any of this to happen! 00:48:15.470 --> 00:48:21.250 I love Sam and I know we've had our problems and I know I've been so 00:48:21.760 --> 00:48:23.540 angry with him lately, but 00:48:23.540 --> 00:48:25.920 but I didn't want him to die! 00:48:26.600 --> 00:48:31.680 Please God! Just let him wake up! Just let him wake up! 00:48:36.880 --> 00:48:37.600 Charlotte! 00:48:37.660 --> 00:48:40.380 Oh! Oh oh, Sam? 00:48:40.380 --> 00:48:42.340 Where am I? Why am I tied to a chair? 00:48:42.340 --> 00:48:44.680 Um, it's for your own safety, Sam. 00:48:44.680 --> 00:48:46.820 And ours.... You're not well Sam. 00:48:46.940 --> 00:48:50.960 Charlotte, baby, I'm hurt real bad. I need a doctor. 00:48:51.040 --> 00:48:52.960 Um, I'll go get the professor 00:48:53.020 --> 00:48:53.520 No! 00:48:55.740 --> 00:48:57.340 They left me here to die! 00:48:57.640 --> 00:49:00.140 Only you can help me, Charlotte. 00:49:00.320 --> 00:49:01.200 Untie me.. 00:49:01.620 --> 00:49:02.980 And we'll leave here 00:49:03.460 --> 00:49:04.420 Together 00:49:06.860 --> 00:49:08.700 I'm tied up Charlotte... 00:49:08.780 --> 00:49:09.920 Please don't do that 00:49:10.200 --> 00:49:11.440 Tied up... 00:49:11.580 --> 00:49:13.260 with you. 00:49:13.660 --> 00:49:15.800 You understand me 00:49:16.980 --> 00:49:19.420 Now hand me those keys. 00:49:19.420 --> 00:49:19.920 No! 00:49:20.040 --> 00:49:21.960 The keys to our youth 00:49:23.060 --> 00:49:25.360 God! We were young once 00:49:26.700 --> 00:49:29.960 Innocent and fun once 00:49:30.500 --> 00:49:33.900 And free 00:49:34.060 --> 00:49:36.620 Let go of this grip on me 00:49:36.820 --> 00:49:38.420 You tied up my heart! 00:49:38.660 --> 00:49:40.880 You tied me down 00:49:41.460 --> 00:49:43.820 Now break me open! 00:49:43.900 --> 00:49:47.080 With your love and mercy 00:49:47.960 --> 00:49:49.340 Charlotte! 00:49:49.720 --> 00:49:52.760 You're breaking my heart, Char 00:49:52.820 --> 00:49:54.900 Got my feet to the fire 00:49:54.900 --> 00:49:58.580 Just let me go and I'll love you 00:49:58.580 --> 00:50:01.920 I love you too Sam, but I- I can not let you go 00:50:03.860 --> 00:50:07.260 Charlotte baby, apple of my eye! 00:50:07.960 --> 00:50:10.000 Don't you twust me? 00:50:11.060 --> 00:50:13.500 I effed up Charlotte 00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:16.380 Effed up with you 00:50:17.060 --> 00:50:19.560 All the booze and harlots 00:50:20.600 --> 00:50:27.160 And all the Charlotte's but they didn't count 00:50:27.260 --> 00:50:30.220 They couldn't break me 00:50:30.220 --> 00:50:34.000 you're the one who caged me 00:50:34.000 --> 00:50:37.260 in chains! 00:50:37.520 --> 00:50:40.400 Please take away my pain 00:50:40.400 --> 00:50:41.200 Charlotte! 00:50:41.740 --> 00:50:44.800 Let me hold you again, Char 00:50:44.800 --> 00:50:47.180 Just free up my arms, 00:50:47.180 --> 00:50:50.940 and I'll give you a foot massage 00:50:50.940 --> 00:50:52.460 - Charlotte! - Nononononono 00:50:52.860 --> 00:50:55.620 Will you ever forgive me? 00:50:55.940 --> 00:50:59.480 I'll crawl on my hands and knees 00:50:59.480 --> 00:51:01.440 if you untie me girl 00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:03.280 and free up my heart! 00:51:03.280 --> 00:51:06.000 (Untie me now) 00:51:06.280 --> 00:51:07.460 This is kinda catchy, Sam! 00:51:07.460 --> 00:51:08.260 (Now break me open) 00:51:08.280 --> 00:51:08.780 Uh huh! 00:51:09.640 --> 00:51:12.440 - No no no! I gotta go get the others, Sam, this is bad! - (with love and mercy) 00:51:13.120 --> 00:51:14.000 Help! 00:51:14.580 --> 00:51:18.100 Oh fuck I'm fading fast, I think you better come quick. 00:51:18.100 --> 00:51:21.420 I really don't wanna die alone in here 00:51:21.640 --> 00:51:25.140 Time to say our goodbyes at the end of the road 00:51:25.140 --> 00:51:28.000 Goodbye? No no, Sam, you'll be alright just hold on! 00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:33.640 This body's not gonna last. The air is cold and thick, I'm losing my last remaining hope for us 00:51:33.640 --> 00:51:34.140 No! 00:51:34.860 --> 00:51:39.160 My hands are tied in knots, and I can't come home... 00:51:41.140 --> 00:51:46.520 I wanna die in your arms in your evening glow 00:51:47.280 --> 00:51:51.820 What? Sam? No. Oh what have I done? 00:51:52.200 --> 00:51:55.580 No, damn! What have I done! No! 00:51:57.340 --> 00:51:59.580 Oh what have I done! 00:52:00.140 --> 00:52:01.200 Charlotte! 00:52:01.740 --> 00:52:05.020 You brought me back from the dead, Char! 00:52:05.020 --> 00:52:06.760 My light was in red 00:52:07.340 --> 00:52:10.320 I saw God, and he told me girl 00:52:10.700 --> 00:52:12.360 To free up my heart 00:52:12.460 --> 00:52:15.120 (Untie me now) 00:52:15.220 --> 00:52:16.260 It's a miracle! 00:52:16.380 --> 00:52:19.060 (Now break me open) 00:52:19.060 --> 00:52:22.280 (with love and mercy) 00:52:23.360 --> 00:52:25.440 Now I'm gonna free up your heart, baby 00:52:25.440 --> 00:52:26.800 Yes take me Sam! 00:52:26.800 --> 00:52:28.020 (guts squish) 00:52:28.020 --> 00:52:29.380 Oh my guts! 00:52:29.380 --> 00:52:31.380 (guts squish) 00:52:49.260 --> 00:52:55.760 He said this was a full bar! How the hell am I supposed to make a Shirley Temple without any cherries? 00:52:57.440 --> 00:53:04.660 Jesus Christ Bill! It's the end of the world and you're gonna get your drink on with a Shirley fucking Temple? 00:53:04.860 --> 00:53:10.380 Well, if it's as serious as all that, I figured we might need a designated driver! 00:53:11.660 --> 00:53:14.300 Okay so when the cops pull you over, 00:53:14.300 --> 00:53:18.740 you can pass their breathalyzer test before they infect you with their nasty blue shit? Come on! 00:53:19.080 --> 00:53:22.680 If you make one more crack at me, I am gonna... 00:53:24.060 --> 00:53:26.460 Do something to you! 00:53:27.360 --> 00:53:29.620 Oh yeah Bill? What are you gonna do? 00:53:30.060 --> 00:53:31.160 I'm gonna... 00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:33.800 Kick your head! 00:53:36.780 --> 00:53:37.740 Oh 00:53:39.360 --> 00:53:40.060 My head. 00:53:40.180 --> 00:53:40.680 Yeah! 00:53:40.680 --> 00:53:41.360 Not my ass. 00:53:43.040 --> 00:53:43.840 Yeah! 00:53:43.840 --> 00:53:45.920 Alright then let's see it! Huh? 00:53:46.260 --> 00:53:47.660 Kick my head! 00:53:48.120 --> 00:53:54.380 Come on, karate champ! I want to see you kick above your waist. Alright, try that roundhouse 00:53:54.560 --> 00:53:58.460 Show me that sweeping crane kick that your kung-fu master taught you. 00:53:58.460 --> 00:54:02.080 Okay, you two, calm down! Ted. Bill's not gonna kick your head 00:54:02.080 --> 00:54:06.540 Why not? It's the most vulnerable part of the body. That's what Sensei Bill taught me. 00:54:06.540 --> 00:54:11.380 Okay, it was a dumb threat. Stop rubbing it in. I'm sure if you could do it over again, he'd say ass 00:54:11.500 --> 00:54:16.660 Uh-uh, uh-uh, you know if you want to kill a snake, what do you do? Huh? You cut off its head. 00:54:16.660 --> 00:54:21.529 Where does the fish rot from? The head! Take out the head, and the whole thing goes down! 00:54:21.529 --> 00:54:24.080 That's why a fisherman always goes for... 00:54:24.580 --> 00:54:25.640 The head! 00:54:25.640 --> 00:54:27.640 Ow! Come on Bill, come on! 00:54:27.900 --> 00:54:29.080 Give me that. 00:54:29.160 --> 00:54:31.600 This is supposed to relax us not make us kill each other. 00:54:31.600 --> 00:54:32.480 Whatever. 00:54:38.680 --> 00:54:41.560 Ugh, Why did I come back here? 00:54:43.140 --> 00:54:44.620 To uh, 00:54:45.440 --> 00:54:46.460 Drink? 00:54:47.820 --> 00:54:54.520 Back to Hatchetfield. I spent the first 18 years of my life trying to get out of this place 00:54:55.640 --> 00:54:57.640 Should've just stayed in Guatemala. 00:54:58.160 --> 00:55:01.300 I mean, yeah, they've got volcanoes and Coatimundis everywhere, but uh- 00:55:01.300 --> 00:55:02.680 What's a Coatimundi? 00:55:03.040 --> 00:55:08.600 Oh, it's like a little raccoon thing. Eh, they get into shit, people hate 'em, but at least they don't sing and dance! 00:55:09.660 --> 00:55:11.660 So is that what drove you back to Hatchetfield? 00:55:12.420 --> 00:55:13.950 Coatimundis, 00:55:13.950 --> 00:55:15.950 Up in your shit? 00:55:15.980 --> 00:55:19.560 No, no, it was uh my sister, Jane. 00:55:20.000 --> 00:55:21.540 She was the good one 00:55:21.540 --> 00:55:22.040 Yeah 00:55:22.040 --> 00:55:28.519 She had this um, Lisa Frank binder when she was little where she mapped out her entire life and I 00:55:28.980 --> 00:55:33.469 swear to god she stuck to it. Bullet point by bullet point. It was like 00:55:34.500 --> 00:55:36.860 job, husband, house, kids, 00:55:37.680 --> 00:55:44.200 And you know when one sister so on top of her game it kind of demands that the other one be a total fuck-up right? 00:55:44.200 --> 00:55:45.760 What is Yin without yang? 00:55:45.760 --> 00:55:47.760 That's what I'm saying! 00:55:47.820 --> 00:55:50.900 yeah, man, she was off doing life and I was doing 00:55:51.780 --> 00:55:53.780 something else, 00:55:54.119 --> 00:55:59.119 Backpacking mostly and she would call me and you know, invite me home for the big events 00:55:59.119 --> 00:56:03.679 you know, weddings, baby showers, and I'd always say oh, 00:56:03.679 --> 00:56:04.290 (Clicks Tongue) 00:56:04.290 --> 00:56:06.290 Sorry, I'll catch the next one 00:56:06.800 --> 00:56:08.000 but um, 00:56:09.260 --> 00:56:13.900 Then when I got the invitation to her funeral I was like oh, 00:56:15.200 --> 00:56:17.200 There won't be a next one 00:56:17.780 --> 00:56:20.280 No, I'm sorry. 00:56:20.280 --> 00:56:23.280 Hey, you didn't crash into her car. 00:56:24.660 --> 00:56:26.660 Anyway, uh, it's weird 00:56:26.940 --> 00:56:29.869 Growing up in someone else's shadow because then when they're gone 00:56:30.210 --> 00:56:34.760 The light shines on your life for the first time, and it does not look good. 00:56:36.060 --> 00:56:38.060 So there I was 00:56:38.340 --> 00:56:43.309 30 with no roots anywhere except Hatchetfield, 00:56:44.609 --> 00:56:48.679 So I thought uh, well I'm gonna make something of myself, you know do something 00:56:48.680 --> 00:56:52.200 My sister would be proud of, enroll in community college, study botany 00:56:52.880 --> 00:56:54.880 I'm gonna start a pot farm. 00:56:57.880 --> 00:56:58.720 Oh 00:56:59.280 --> 00:57:01.860 Did your sister smoke a lot of pot? 00:57:01.860 --> 00:57:06.680 No, but weed's the future it's gonna be legal nationwide soon bet you any money, 00:57:07.920 --> 00:57:09.920 Not that it matters anymore. 00:57:10.680 --> 00:57:12.150 Man, 00:57:12.150 --> 00:57:17.760 my whole life, my one goal was to avoid dying in Hatchetfield and 00:57:19.200 --> 00:57:21.200 Here we are 00:57:21.810 --> 00:57:27.379 Hey, it could be worse. You could be dying in Clivesdale 00:57:29.340 --> 00:57:30.460 Fuck Clivesdale! 00:57:30.460 --> 00:57:31.640 Fuck em! 00:57:33.920 --> 00:57:35.400 You know uh 00:57:35.400 --> 00:57:37.400 all things considered 00:57:37.400 --> 00:57:38.800 I like Hatchetfield. 00:57:38.800 --> 00:57:39.740 mmm. 00:57:39.740 --> 00:57:42.260 Yeah. I've been here my whole life 00:57:42.260 --> 00:57:44.180 born and bred 00:57:44.190 --> 00:57:46.190 Never wanted to leave 00:57:46.680 --> 00:57:48.180 Still don't 00:57:49.320 --> 00:57:53.000 Hey, we're the same age, how come I never knew you in high school? 00:57:53.000 --> 00:57:55.660 You probably went to Hachetfield High, I went to Sycamore 00:57:55.660 --> 00:57:57.900 Fucking Timberwolves! We hated you guys. 00:57:57.900 --> 00:57:59.900 We hated ourselves! (Laughs) 00:58:02.680 --> 00:58:03.180 uh, 00:58:03.220 --> 00:58:07.660 So uh back at Beanies you said you're in your high school production of Brigadoon? 00:58:07.660 --> 00:58:09.800 (Scottish Accent) Hey, I was Bonnie Jean 00:58:10.100 --> 00:58:14.100 That was 2003 right? I actually saw you in Brigadoon. 00:58:14.100 --> 00:58:15.180 No Shit. 00:58:15.180 --> 00:58:17.300 Yes Shit! Yeah 00:58:17.300 --> 00:58:21.180 Uh, We didn't have a theater program in our school. So I guess to make us feel like crap 00:58:21.180 --> 00:58:25.820 They bused us over to watch your show. It was the first musical I ever saw. 00:58:25.820 --> 00:58:26.540 Hmm. 00:58:27.300 --> 00:58:28.520 I hated it 00:58:29.880 --> 00:58:31.880 That's probably the start of my whole thing 00:58:33.000 --> 00:58:35.000 You're the reason I don't like musicals! 00:58:36.360 --> 00:58:38.560 Whoa, that's like your origin story. 00:58:38.560 --> 00:58:39.060 Yeah 00:58:39.560 --> 00:58:41.380 So I guess I'm the supervillian? 00:58:42.180 --> 00:58:44.080 I don't think of you like that at all Emma. 00:58:45.960 --> 00:58:47.920 Listen um Paul- 00:58:47.920 --> 00:58:49.880 (Lighting Strikes) 00:58:50.220 --> 00:58:50.800 Oh my god 00:58:50.800 --> 00:58:51.720 Charlotte? 00:58:51.720 --> 00:58:53.380 It is time... 00:58:53.380 --> 00:59:00.120 TO DIE!!!!! 00:59:00.120 --> 00:59:02.800 Sorry to interrupt, but we got bones to pluck! 00:59:02.800 --> 00:59:05.680 The time for Chaos is long past overdue 00:59:05.680 --> 00:59:07.080 Death isn't optional 00:59:07.080 --> 00:59:08.600 In fact it's optimal 00:59:08.600 --> 00:59:11.680 Your time is up and now we go through you 00:59:11.680 --> 00:59:15.600 We tried to convince you in soliloquy, 00:59:16.980 --> 00:59:21.280 but now we'll kill you with more than harmony 00:59:21.580 --> 00:59:22.960 Just die 00:59:22.960 --> 00:59:25.500 join us and die 00:59:25.500 --> 00:59:26.000 (Speaking) Charlotte? 00:59:26.000 --> 00:59:30.680 Join us and die, join us and die 00:59:31.800 --> 00:59:33.800 All you gotta do is, 00:59:34.060 --> 00:59:36.720 Join us and die 00:59:36.780 --> 00:59:37.680 Join us 00:59:37.680 --> 00:59:38.180 (Speaking) What's wrong with them? 00:59:38.180 --> 00:59:38.820 and die 00:59:39.800 --> 00:59:42.260 Join us and die 00:59:43.040 --> 00:59:44.900 (Angrily) All you gotta do is 00:59:44.900 --> 00:59:47.580 Cause I was gonna go, we're gonna kick your ass 00:59:47.580 --> 00:59:50.440 and then we're gonna fucking kick your ass 00:59:50.440 --> 00:59:53.380 You're gonna poop all that goop until your mouth will be food 00:59:53.380 --> 00:59:55.840 and I'll assemble a new and ??? 00:59:55.980 --> 00:59:56.480 (Yelling) What's wrong with her shirt? 00:59:56.480 --> 01:00:00.120 This is a process that you gotta see 01:00:00.120 --> 01:00:01.960 Ahhh (Yelling) Ew! 01:00:01.960 --> 01:00:05.900 Your own body is your front row seat! 01:00:05.900 --> 01:00:06.840 To die! 01:00:06.840 --> 01:00:09.780 Join us and Die 01:00:10.060 --> 01:00:12.220 Join us and die 01:00:12.920 --> 01:00:15.220 Join us and die 01:00:16.640 --> 01:00:18.600 All you gotta do is, 01:00:18.600 --> 01:00:19.560 Join us and die 01:00:19.580 --> 01:00:20.720 (yelling) no, no! 01:00:20.720 --> 01:00:23.040 Join us and die (Background Yelling) 01:00:23.900 --> 01:00:26.180 Join us and 01:00:26.200 --> 01:00:27.620 Punch him, yah! (yelling) Oh! 01:00:27.720 --> 01:00:29.120 Squeeze him, (Yelling) oh! 01:00:29.120 --> 01:00:30.340 Crush him. (Yelling) Ah! 01:00:30.340 --> 01:00:31.960 Kill him 01:00:31.960 --> 01:00:33.340 Ride Him 01:00:33.340 --> 01:00:34.960 Drag him 01:00:34.960 --> 01:00:36.280 Wind it up 01:00:36.280 --> 01:00:38.040 Kick his nuts 01:00:38.040 --> 01:00:39.200 That's how it's gonna go- 01:00:39.200 --> 01:00:39.840 (Gun Shot) 01:00:41.060 --> 01:00:42.380 (Singing)Oh - Ah 01:00:42.380 --> 01:00:42.920 (Gun Shot) 01:00:43.640 --> 01:00:44.920 Oh my god! 01:00:45.360 --> 01:00:46.100 Professor! 01:00:51.600 --> 01:00:53.980 You killed Charlotte! 01:00:54.720 --> 01:00:55.640 Wrong. 01:00:55.840 --> 01:00:56.760 You shot her. 01:00:56.760 --> 01:00:59.460 I shot a Charle-ton 01:01:03.540 --> 01:01:04.620 Ahh . . . 01:01:05.760 --> 01:01:10.280 The Charlotte you knew and loved was gone the minute a note came out of her mouth. 01:01:10.280 --> 01:01:12.560 After examining that blue shit 01:01:12.560 --> 01:01:16.189 It didn't take long for me to decipher that, Sam was no longer human 01:01:16.440 --> 01:01:21.800 But part of the alien brew genetically reconstructed from the inside out 01:01:22.200 --> 01:01:25.000 They're wearing our skin to fool us 01:01:25.900 --> 01:01:27.980 Which means any one of you could be one of them? 01:01:27.980 --> 01:01:28.640 Whoa, whoa, whoa 01:01:28.640 --> 01:01:33.780 So we're gonna have a little test to see who's still human and who's a musical doppelganger? 01:01:33.820 --> 01:01:34.320 Uh, what? 01:01:34.320 --> 01:01:36.580 I want you all to sing 16 bars right now. 01:01:36.580 --> 01:01:38.400 No! Professor, professor, we're not aliens- 01:01:38.460 --> 01:01:40.480 (Cocks Gun) Sing the beginning of Moana! 01:01:40.480 --> 01:01:42.620 What? uh? 01:01:42.620 --> 01:01:44.340 I said sing god damn it! 01:01:44.340 --> 01:01:47.620 Uh, (Trying to sing) Moana, make way, make way 01:01:47.620 --> 01:01:49.760 (Singing badly and incoherently) Uh, it's uh consider the coconut, cocoa, ho ho 01:01:49.760 --> 01:01:54.880 (Continuing to sing badly and incoherently) uh, consider its tree, uh god gives - ho ho- us what we - and no one leaves 01:01:54.880 --> 01:01:55.820 (Speaking) I didn't like that movie 01:01:55.820 --> 01:02:00.260 (Bill continuing to sing badly) the circle of life, . . . and it m- 01:02:00.260 --> 01:02:01.300 (Speaking) That's not it 01:02:02.120 --> 01:02:03.280 All right, 01:02:03.980 --> 01:02:05.980 That was terrible. 01:02:06.140 --> 01:02:08.289 Not a single one of you were on pitch, which means, 01:02:08.980 --> 01:02:10.500 They're still human. 01:02:11.200 --> 01:02:12.340 These, 01:02:12.349 --> 01:02:19.058 things their, their, tactic is to hide amongst us and as their numbers grow, they become more bold, and as we've seen 01:02:19.058 --> 01:02:19.819 (Cocks gun) 01:02:19.820 --> 01:02:20.640 violent. 01:02:20.640 --> 01:02:22.640 (Phone rings) 01:02:23.340 --> 01:02:24.660 (Phone rings) 01:02:26.020 --> 01:02:27.520 Alice? 01:02:27.529 --> 01:02:32.979 Alice oh, thank god. I've never been more happy in my life, your mother left me and moved you to Clivesdale 01:02:33.799 --> 01:02:34.819 What? 01:02:34.819 --> 01:02:40.599 No, no Alice. I saw you get on the bus to Clivesdale this morning. What? You got off? 01:02:41.150 --> 01:02:42.980 Got off? 01:02:42.980 --> 01:02:48.040 To go see Deb? God damn it Alice! If Deb jumped off a bridge, would you? 01:02:49.340 --> 01:02:53.620 Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know you're scared. 01:02:55.400 --> 01:02:57.079 What's wrong with Deb? 01:02:57.079 --> 01:02:58.999 She's doing what? 01:02:58.999 --> 01:03:00.999 Alice okay. Listen to me 01:03:01.640 --> 01:03:05.060 You get away from her you understand? You get far away. 01:03:05.260 --> 01:03:11.080 No, this has nothing to do with me not liking Deb. Right now, you need to run and hide. Okay? Where are you? 01:03:11.450 --> 01:03:13.929 No, no, you stay there. I'm coming to you 01:03:14.660 --> 01:03:16.660 No, no, don't- don't you say... 01:03:19.320 --> 01:03:20.840 Everything's going to be fine. 01:03:23.580 --> 01:03:25.580 I love you, too 01:03:28.740 --> 01:03:32.689 Give me, give me, some bread and some water 01:03:33.380 --> 01:03:35.820 I knew we were gonna need a designated driver! 01:03:36.120 --> 01:03:37.160 What's happening Bill? 01:03:37.160 --> 01:03:41.900 It's Alice. She's stuck in Hatchetfield. Dang it! I need to take the car. She's in Hatchetfield High 01:03:41.900 --> 01:03:43.420 She's locked herself in the choir room. 01:03:43.420 --> 01:03:45.260 and you're gonna save her? 01:03:46.740 --> 01:03:48.180 GI Bill? 01:03:48.900 --> 01:03:54.480 You're gonna run and gun your way through a city of singing zombie motherfuckers. Wake up Bill! 01:03:55.080 --> 01:03:56.100 She's already dead. 01:03:56.100 --> 01:03:56.940 Don't you dare Ted! 01:03:56.940 --> 01:04:02.460 You're gonna get there and she's gonna be dead and you're gonna die too and that's exactly what's gonna happen 01:04:02.640 --> 01:04:04.580 If you try to go back through downtown. 01:04:04.580 --> 01:04:06.200 but what else am I supposed to do? 01:04:06.200 --> 01:04:08.200 Don't go through downtown. 01:04:08.280 --> 01:04:09.520 Cut through Pinebrook. 01:04:09.520 --> 01:04:10.680 What? 01:04:11.100 --> 01:04:13.820 Pinebrook, rich neighborhood fancy houses 01:04:14.100 --> 01:04:15.580 Huge yards. 01:04:15.580 --> 01:04:18.460 Yes, avoid densely populated areas. 01:04:18.460 --> 01:04:22.000 Take Evergreen, cut through the park, hop a curb, and you're in the teachers parking lot. 01:04:22.000 --> 01:04:26.200 Right! Yes, and the windows to the staff lounge is always open so they can smoke, 01:04:26.200 --> 01:04:28.400 just slide in and out, used to be my old escape route. 01:04:28.400 --> 01:04:30.320 Okay. Okay. This is a lot of directions. 01:04:30.320 --> 01:04:32.520 Don't bother he's gonna get lost. 01:04:32.520 --> 01:04:35.380 You are such a fucking creep. You know that? 01:04:35.860 --> 01:04:37.620 Oh, I'm a fucking creep? 01:04:37.620 --> 01:04:38.640 Yeah. 01:04:38.640 --> 01:04:44.460 I'm a fucking creep? Listen, sweetheart. The world has changed, alright? 01:04:44.520 --> 01:04:51.440 There are no creeps. There are no heroes. There are only people who are alive and people who are fucking dead! 01:04:54.200 --> 01:04:55.560 And Bill's daughter, 01:04:57.880 --> 01:04:59.480 She's dead. 01:05:01.680 --> 01:05:05.380 What? I'm only saying what we all know is true! Right Paul? 01:05:10.300 --> 01:05:17.860 I know that the chances are slim to nil, and I know that Bill doesn't know the shortcut 01:05:19.840 --> 01:05:22.980 Bill if you go, you're not gonna make it 01:05:25.180 --> 01:05:27.700 which is why I'm gonna go with you to get your daughter back 01:05:29.220 --> 01:05:31.040 You'd do that for me Paul? 01:05:31.980 --> 01:05:35.460 Hey, it's not like you're asking me to go see Mamma Mia. 01:05:36.720 --> 01:05:40.180 Well, hey, let's go if we haul ass we can be there and back in 20 minutes. 01:05:40.180 --> 01:05:41.720 No, Emma you stay here 01:05:41.720 --> 01:05:46.340 I have a theory on how these aliens can be stopped, but I'll need an extra pair of hands in the lab 01:05:47.020 --> 01:05:49.020 Paul, Bill, 01:05:49.740 --> 01:05:51.240 Godspeed. 01:05:53.700 --> 01:05:55.700 Um, hey Paul? 01:05:56.020 --> 01:05:57.080 Listen, 01:05:57.580 --> 01:06:03.180 If those things get you, they're gonna make you sing and dance and all that shit you hate, 01:06:04.130 --> 01:06:06.130 So don't you let em. 01:06:07.160 --> 01:06:08.380 Emma, 01:06:08.810 --> 01:06:12.840 there comes a time in every man's life when he has to draw a line in the sand 01:06:13.610 --> 01:06:14.810 And I, 01:06:14.810 --> 01:06:18.600 Will never be in a fucking musical. 01:06:34.340 --> 01:06:35.040 Alice? 01:06:37.080 --> 01:06:37.580 Alice? 01:06:37.800 --> 01:06:40.520 -Sweetie where are you? - Bill! Be quiet! Be quiet Bill okay? 01:06:40.520 --> 01:06:41.820 We gotta find her Paul! 01:06:41.820 --> 01:06:43.960 We will but, but you're gonna have to shut up, alright? 01:06:43.960 --> 01:06:47.020 This whole school could be crawling with those things, 01:06:47.020 --> 01:06:50.880 you screaming is gonna get us killed and then who's gonna save Alice? 01:06:50.920 --> 01:06:55.700 Right, Right. Sorry Paul, It's just... she's all I have. 01:06:55.700 --> 01:06:56.280 I know, 01:06:56.540 --> 01:06:59.060 Just, just try to stay calm and follow me. Okay? 01:07:01.640 --> 01:07:03.640 You know, she's a good kid Paul 01:07:04.880 --> 01:07:06.859 she's smart and 01:07:06.859 --> 01:07:08.859 I respect her choices, but 01:07:09.100 --> 01:07:11.100 if we're being honest, 01:07:11.200 --> 01:07:13.360 I don't like Deb. 01:07:13.910 --> 01:07:17.889 She's just, she's always on her phone, and I don't know. I just think Alice can do better 01:07:18.060 --> 01:07:19.600 Yeah, sure Bill. 01:07:19.600 --> 01:07:22.520 This morning the knucklehead that I am, I said 01:07:22.540 --> 01:07:26.319 "Why don't you try dating someone at your own high school in Clivesdale?" 01:07:26.319 --> 01:07:31.359 And she said "You just don't like Deb." and what was I supposed to do lie? 01:07:31.880 --> 01:07:38.650 So I said "Why don't you try dating someone like Grace Chastity?" and she goes "No! Grace Chastity is a nerdy prude!" 01:07:39.079 --> 01:07:43.179 And I said, "1. I said date someone like her 2. 01:07:43.180 --> 01:07:48.440 That is not a very nice thing to say." and suddenly I'm defending Grace Chastity of all people, 01:07:48.440 --> 01:07:51.500 and she says "You just want Grace Chastity to be your daughter!" and I said 01:07:51.500 --> 01:07:53.840 "Well at least she's nice to me at church!" 01:07:56.390 --> 01:08:01.299 And I think that fight is why she got off the bus to go see Deb 01:08:02.720 --> 01:08:07.120 Oh god Paul, I'm the reason they trapped her. It's my fault. 01:08:07.120 --> 01:08:07.700 No! 01:08:08.360 --> 01:08:10.360 No, listen to me B ill, okay? 01:08:10.940 --> 01:08:12.940 This is not your fault 01:08:13.340 --> 01:08:14.800 Yes, it is 01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:16.420 Alice? 01:08:16.920 --> 01:08:18.740 It's all your fault 01:08:18.740 --> 01:08:21.860 That's the last thought I had before they broke down the door. 01:08:22.580 --> 01:08:25.400 (Singing) I'm not your girl anymore, 01:08:25.780 --> 01:08:29.720 I'm not that tween that you drove here for, 01:08:30.720 --> 01:08:39.400 I'm not your girl anymore. I overtook her body with an infectious spore. 01:08:40.220 --> 01:08:47.700 You left me out of your sight for one second and look what happens, nightmare time. 01:08:47.700 --> 01:08:48.260 (Speaking) I- 01:08:48.260 --> 01:08:55.280 It's worse than you could imagine not sex and not drugs, just alien invading minds. 01:08:55.280 --> 01:09:02.480 No more family vacays together cause your only daughter's under the weather, 01:09:02.720 --> 01:09:08.520 And if you actually paid attention to me, 01:09:08.980 --> 01:09:11.360 You see I'm not your seed, 01:09:11.360 --> 01:09:13.180 (Speaking) Alice , what is going on? 01:09:13.180 --> 01:09:15.100 I'm not your angsty teen 01:09:15.100 --> 01:09:16.600 (Speaking) Alice, I'm, I'm here to take you home. Uh- 01:09:16.600 --> 01:09:19.560 No matter what you believe, 01:09:19.780 --> 01:09:23.280 The apple's fallen far from the tree 01:09:23.920 --> 01:09:32.120 It's not my fault anymore, no more curfews to be late for 01:09:32.800 --> 01:09:41.000 It's not my fault anymore, no more being worried and waiting by the door 01:09:41.420 --> 01:09:45.240 Did you know that I wanted to live with you? 01:09:45.420 --> 01:09:48.380 -No - Whoa-ah - (Look what happened, it's nightmare time) 01:09:48.800 --> 01:09:52.640 When you needed to fight, you gave her that too 01:09:52.640 --> 01:09:56.160 - Whoa-ah - (Aliens invading minds) 01:09:56.380 --> 01:09:59.500 Did you know Mom let Deb sleep over? 01:09:59.500 --> 01:10:00.160 (Speaking) What? 01:10:00.160 --> 01:10:02.800 And you're right about Deb, she's a hardcore stoner. 01:10:02.800 --> 01:10:03.540 (Yelling)I knew it! 01:10:03.580 --> 01:10:07.940 and if you wonder what lead your daughter astray, 01:10:08.780 --> 01:10:11.140 Well, Daddy wasn't here to save- 01:10:11.140 --> 01:10:12.780 (Not your seed) 01:10:12.780 --> 01:10:14.400 (Talking) Alice whatever I said before I'm sorry 01:10:14.400 --> 01:10:16.520 I'm not your perfect teen, 01:10:16.520 --> 01:10:18.100 You can break out of it, I know, I know you can. 01:10:18.100 --> 01:10:24.100 I'm fucking seventeen, at least I was before you left me. 01:10:26.580 --> 01:10:28.400 (Speaking) Bill, we need to leave right now- 01:10:28.400 --> 01:10:30.800 (Speaking) Back off Paul we're not leaving without Alice. 01:10:30.800 --> 01:10:32.000 (Speaking) That's not your daughter, Bill.. 01:10:32.000 --> 01:10:33.400 (Speaking) Alice? 01:10:34.000 --> 01:10:37.160 Why does it hurt to love you? 01:10:38.000 --> 01:10:40.840 Why am I in pain? 01:10:41.600 --> 01:10:44.780 Why does it hurt to know you? 01:10:45.300 --> 01:10:47.800 You let me down again. 01:10:47.880 --> 01:10:55.480 If I turned my insides out would you even know that I was there? 01:10:56.420 --> 01:10:59.900 Why does it hurt to love you? 01:11:00.080 --> 01:11:04.540 Why does it hurt to love? 01:11:04.800 --> 01:11:05.820 (Drum beat) 01:11:05.980 --> 01:11:09.660 I'm not your seed (Not yo gurl, not yo gurl) 01:11:09.660 --> 01:11:13.520 Now maybe you'll listen to me (listen to me, listen to me) 01:11:13.520 --> 01:11:15.800 How do you let me bleed? (Let me bleed) 01:11:16.660 --> 01:11:20.900 Now you're daughter's not a girl no more (Girl no more, girl no more) 01:11:20.900 --> 01:11:22.760 Now I own your seed. 01:11:22.760 --> 01:11:28.060 Cuz I'm not your girl anymore. 01:11:33.760 --> 01:11:37.760 I can't do it Paul. I can't live in a world without my daughter. 01:11:39.200 --> 01:11:41.820 Bill? Whatever you're thinking, stop. 01:11:41.820 --> 01:11:44.900 I can't live knowing I'm the reason they got to her. 01:11:44.900 --> 01:11:46.160 No Bill. 01:11:46.160 --> 01:11:47.660 No, no- 01:11:47.660 --> 01:11:48.680 Let me do it Paul! 01:11:48.680 --> 01:11:49.180 No 01:11:49.180 --> 01:11:50.280 Just let me die- 01:11:50.280 --> 01:11:51.980 No man. 01:11:51.980 --> 01:11:53.240 No 01:11:55.400 --> 01:11:56.400 Bill 01:11:58.140 --> 01:11:59.700 Look at me 01:12:00.300 --> 01:12:03.460 You're my best friend. I'm not gonna let you die. 01:12:03.460 --> 01:12:04.260 (Gunshot) 01:12:07.320 --> 01:12:07.820 Bill! 01:12:08.640 --> 01:12:09.960 Oh God! Bill! 01:12:10.740 --> 01:12:14.260 (together) We just keep running into each other, don't we Paul? 01:12:15.270 --> 01:12:17.960 (Together) We have travelled across seas of stars 01:12:18.600 --> 01:12:20.380 (At the same time) Bending/Counting/Conquering 01:12:20.460 --> 01:12:22.320 (At the same time) Bending/Counting/Conquering 01:12:22.320 --> 01:12:23.460 (Together) Wait 01:12:23.460 --> 01:12:27.020 (Together) What are we saying? We all have to say the same thing 01:12:27.540 --> 01:12:29.480 (Together) Let's get on the same page 01:12:29.480 --> 01:12:33.060 (Harmonizing) I'm here, I'm here, I'm here 01:12:33.760 --> 01:12:38.680 (Together) Bending countless civilizations to our will. Yet you Paul have defied us thrice! 01:12:38.680 --> 01:12:39.260 (Gunshot) 01:12:39.260 --> 01:12:40.180 Holy shit! 01:12:41.240 --> 01:12:44.560 (Together) This puny human weapon is too quick a death for you Paul 01:12:47.560 --> 01:12:50.520 (Together) We shall rend you limb from limb you will 01:12:50.520 --> 01:12:51.740 (At the same time) Shut/die/choke 01:12:52.300 --> 01:12:53.300 (At the same time) you will shut/die/choke? 01:12:54.740 --> 01:12:58.980 (Together) Seriously, we all need to say the same thing. You guys are embarrassing me! 01:12:58.980 --> 01:13:00.060 Oh come on! 01:13:00.620 --> 01:13:04.940 (Together) You shall choke on your agony as you beg for apotheosis 01:13:04.940 --> 01:13:06.440 (Singing) ahhh 01:13:06.440 --> 01:13:08.480 N-, n-, n-, no, no, no 01:13:08.480 --> 01:13:10.660 Get down on the ground we're the army! Bam bam! 01:13:10.660 --> 01:13:12.920 Get out of here! Bam Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! 01:13:12.920 --> 01:13:18.160 All right, we're clear on the left here we go, whoop! Clear on the right. Grenade! Whoa! Yah! 01:13:18.920 --> 01:13:20.760 Wait, wait, wait I'm not one of them. I'm human- 01:13:20.760 --> 01:13:21.260 (thump) 01:13:21.260 --> 01:13:23.020 Yeah? Prove it asshole we're the army. 01:13:30.480 --> 01:13:33.700 Remarkable! Simply remarkable! 01:13:34.580 --> 01:13:40.520 So, Emma how do you explain an entire race of beings spontaneously bursting into song and dance? 01:13:40.740 --> 01:13:45.060 How do they all know the lyrics? Th- the choreography? 01:13:45.100 --> 01:13:48.540 I don't know they're all getting orders from the mothership? 01:13:49.500 --> 01:13:51.500 You're not far off. 01:13:52.060 --> 01:13:55.560 What we're dealing with here is a collective consciousness. 01:13:55.560 --> 01:14:02.320 On one level, they are individuals, but on another they are all appendages of a much larger 01:14:02.320 --> 01:14:06.640 organism all connected by a central brain. 01:14:07.160 --> 01:14:09.260 and the brain came down in the meteor? 01:14:09.260 --> 01:14:09.860 Or 01:14:10.520 --> 01:14:12.480 It is the meteor. 01:14:13.320 --> 01:14:14.460 Okay? 01:14:17.280 --> 01:14:21.920 Okay, and so it wants to kill us all so it can resurrect us as part of its shitty musical? 01:14:23.320 --> 01:14:25.320 That's one way of putting it 01:14:26.050 --> 01:14:28.050 you could also say it's 01:14:28.680 --> 01:14:33.060 uniting us in one common purpose. Think! 01:14:33.880 --> 01:14:37.940 Emma, this entity were to spread to the entire planet why... 01:14:38.820 --> 01:14:43.320 It could achieve what over 50,000 years of human civilization never could 01:14:45.100 --> 01:14:46.900 World peace 01:14:48.320 --> 01:14:51.220 Okay, but how do we stop it? 01:14:52.600 --> 01:14:55.020 Yes, of course 01:14:56.240 --> 01:14:57.220 Stop it 01:14:58.820 --> 01:14:59.960 Okay um, 01:14:59.960 --> 01:15:04.540 All right, All right. So this all started with the meteor, it is the brain 01:15:04.760 --> 01:15:09.000 So if we take it out, will all these things just die? 01:15:09.760 --> 01:15:11.760 That's a sound theory Emma 01:15:13.120 --> 01:15:15.560 Which is why it must never leave its room 01:15:16.000 --> 01:15:17.360 What? n- n- n- no no! 01:15:17.360 --> 01:15:18.300 Don't fight it 01:15:30.360 --> 01:15:31.220 Oh 01:15:31.820 --> 01:15:32.720 Oh 01:15:35.260 --> 01:15:39.280 Sorry for that knock on the head son, you can never be too careful. What's your name? 01:15:39.280 --> 01:15:40.240 Uh, Paul Mathews 01:15:40.240 --> 01:15:41.200 Good evening Paul, 01:15:41.200 --> 01:15:46.840 My name's General John McNamara of the United States Military, special unit PE IP. We call it Peep. 01:15:47.900 --> 01:15:49.840 Peep? I've never heard of you guys. 01:15:49.840 --> 01:15:51.260 And you never will, 01:15:51.740 --> 01:15:52.840 not a peep. 01:15:56.440 --> 01:15:58.000 That's a joke son 01:15:58.400 --> 01:16:02.900 We have the unenviable task of cleaning up messes of a certain nature, 01:16:03.500 --> 01:16:05.709 Situations not unlike what we have here in Hatchetfield. 01:16:05.920 --> 01:16:07.960 Are you saying stuff like this has happened before? 01:16:07.960 --> 01:16:10.180 said nothing in this sort that information is classified. 01:16:10.880 --> 01:16:16.820 However, our agents led us to believe the entire population had become infected with this alien contagion. 01:16:16.820 --> 01:16:21.400 So quite frankly, We're all little shocked to find a survivor like yourself. 01:16:23.260 --> 01:16:25.840 But I got some bad news for you Paul, 01:16:26.240 --> 01:16:32.540 My unit was sent to make a clean sweep of what was once your town. No loose ends. No survivors. 01:16:32.540 --> 01:16:34.700 Whoa so you're just gonna kill me? 01:16:34.700 --> 01:16:37.200 Those are my orders. Yes, two in the head, one in the heart. 01:16:37.600 --> 01:16:40.960 But there's one thing you better hurry up and know about me, Paul. 01:16:41.520 --> 01:16:43.720 I love my country I do, 01:16:44.660 --> 01:16:49.740 But the experiences I've accrued throughout my tenure with this organization have given me a deeper 01:16:49.840 --> 01:16:52.860 understanding of the cosmos and our place in it. 01:16:53.560 --> 01:16:55.800 I follow a higher law than any institution 01:16:55.900 --> 01:17:01.580 could decree and that is the universal truth of love and the strength of the human heart 01:17:01.730 --> 01:17:03.939 Would you like to do some light reading on the subject? 01:17:04.820 --> 01:17:06.820 No, thank you. No thank you 01:17:07.240 --> 01:17:10.960 So I'm gonna bend the rules a little bit for you Paul 01:17:10.960 --> 01:17:14.940 I have an evac chopper touching down in Oakly Park at 2300 hours 01:17:14.950 --> 01:17:18.070 That's 11 o'clock in the PM, synchronize your timepiece with mine. 01:17:18.070 --> 01:17:18.580 Oh 01:17:19.480 --> 01:17:20.080 Okay, 01:17:20.080 --> 01:17:21.040 Is that an iPhone? 01:17:21.040 --> 01:17:22.460 Yeah, it's the 6s. It ha- 01:17:23.780 --> 01:17:25.280 a-uhhh (Grunts while throwing phone) 01:17:25.960 --> 01:17:27.960 Wear a watch! 01:17:29.700 --> 01:17:35.300 Time is a precious thread in the fabric of the universe. It deserves its own tool of measurement! 01:17:37.620 --> 01:17:42.480 You survive 'til 2300 hours, there's a seat in that chopper with your name on it. 01:17:44.160 --> 01:17:47.860 Cool. Oh uh wa- wait. Wait General McNamara. 01:17:49.180 --> 01:17:50.700 I can't leave without Emma. 01:17:50.760 --> 01:17:52.700 (sighs) Who's Emma, Paul? 01:17:53.740 --> 01:17:54.620 A friend of mine. 01:17:54.620 --> 01:17:57.980 Friends don't move my heart son. Is there a chance at something more? 01:17:59.400 --> 01:18:01.400 I think so, uh 01:18:01.600 --> 01:18:03.600 I'd like there to be. 01:18:04.600 --> 01:18:06.240 I want there to be. 01:18:06.240 --> 01:18:08.240 Well, then you know what that means, 01:18:08.240 --> 01:18:09.080 What? 01:18:09.080 --> 01:18:11.720 I'm authorizing you to use my firearm. 01:18:13.200 --> 01:18:16.140 Rescue Emma and get your ass to that chopper in two hours time. 01:18:16.400 --> 01:18:17.920 Thank you sir. 01:18:17.920 --> 01:18:21.560 Don't thank me until we're both in Clivesdale sharing a cup of coffee 01:18:22.120 --> 01:18:24.120 Do you like coffee son? 01:18:24.400 --> 01:18:25.810 Yes, sir. 01:18:25.810 --> 01:18:27.810 Do you like musicals? 01:18:28.120 --> 01:18:29.040 No, sir. 01:18:31.300 --> 01:18:33.480 Now that's a goddamn red-blooded American 01:18:35.500 --> 01:18:37.500 I'll see you on the chopper 01:18:52.580 --> 01:18:53.640 Hey 01:18:54.860 --> 01:18:55.800 Hey! 01:18:55.800 --> 01:18:56.300 Wha-? 01:18:57.000 --> 01:18:59.460 Wha-? What the fuck? 01:19:01.000 --> 01:19:01.940 So 01:19:02.480 --> 01:19:03.920 You're finally awake. 01:19:03.920 --> 01:19:06.120 Professor Hidgens. What are you doing? 01:19:06.120 --> 01:19:09.160 Exactly what needs to be done! 01:19:09.800 --> 01:19:10.740 Alexa 01:19:10.740 --> 01:19:11.800 (Alexa chime) 01:19:12.280 --> 01:19:15.400 Open the gates! Turn off the fences, Shut it all down! 01:19:15.400 --> 01:19:15.900 (electric buzz) 01:19:16.160 --> 01:19:20.020 No Professor! The fences are the only things protecting us! 01:19:20.280 --> 01:19:24.600 Protecting us from what, Emma? From the end of the world? 01:19:25.280 --> 01:19:28.780 What's protecting us from nuclear Holocaust climate change? 01:19:28.780 --> 01:19:30.780 Overpopulation? Emma... 01:19:31.820 --> 01:19:33.820 The world was already doomed 01:19:34.070 --> 01:19:36.070 Not by them, 01:19:37.180 --> 01:19:38.500 but by us. 01:19:39.520 --> 01:19:42.820 I was trying to save something that could not be saved 01:19:45.620 --> 01:19:46.940 Until now. 01:19:47.920 --> 01:19:51.900 But before we can be reborn into a better world 01:19:53.140 --> 01:19:54.420 First, 01:19:55.040 --> 01:19:57.040 we must say our goodbyes. 01:19:57.140 --> 01:19:57.780 No! No... 01:19:58.160 --> 01:19:59.280 No... Please... 01:20:00.020 --> 01:20:00.800 Alexa 01:20:00.800 --> 01:20:01.940 (Alexa chime) 01:20:04.420 --> 01:20:10.860 After all these years in isolation, with you as my one companion I've 01:20:11.980 --> 01:20:15.440 I've come to love you just as much as any woman of flesh and bone 01:20:20.720 --> 01:20:22.980 Which is why it pains me to have to do this 01:20:25.100 --> 01:20:25.960 Alexa 01:20:25.960 --> 01:20:27.260 (Alexa chime) 01:20:27.700 --> 01:20:29.860 Initiate self-destruct 01:20:31.000 --> 01:20:34.600 Uhh... I don't think you can do that Professor... 01:20:36.960 --> 01:20:37.820 (sigh) 01:20:39.580 --> 01:20:40.560 It's 01:20:40.560 --> 01:20:42.200 2018 01:20:43.160 --> 01:20:48.440 And it can't even blow itself up? Fucking piece of shit! 01:20:48.440 --> 01:20:49.360 No! God... 01:20:49.360 --> 01:20:51.960 Please, please Professor, just let us go, ok man? 01:20:51.960 --> 01:20:53.520 I'm afraid I can't do that Ted 01:20:54.560 --> 01:20:59.620 Don't you two see that in order for humanity to survive, 01:20:59.860 --> 01:21:04.880 it must evolve. That's what this visitor from the star has brought us, 01:21:05.840 --> 01:21:07.280 salvation! 01:21:07.720 --> 01:21:11.760 We must join them. This is our second chance 01:21:12.700 --> 01:21:14.540 My second chance. 01:21:14.540 --> 01:21:17.800 Professor think about what you're doing 01:21:18.400 --> 01:21:18.960 Emma... 01:21:19.580 --> 01:21:26.380 Did you know that long before I was a biologist, I had a much truer and deeper passion? 01:21:27.220 --> 01:21:27.840 Yes... 01:21:28.240 --> 01:21:32.140 My first love was and always will be... 01:21:33.440 --> 01:21:35.500 Musical theater! 01:21:41.100 --> 01:21:41.800 Oh 01:21:42.380 --> 01:21:43.780 God no 01:21:44.560 --> 01:21:46.240 This guy is fucking nuts! 01:21:47.020 --> 01:21:53.280 After examining that creature you once called Charlotte, I made a fascinating discovery. These aliens... 01:21:53.290 --> 01:21:59.649 They- they possess a highly specialized gland that allows them to communicate through rhythmic frequencies 01:22:00.860 --> 01:22:02.890 They're drawn to music! 01:22:04.300 --> 01:22:06.300 Like a moth to the flame... 01:22:06.700 --> 01:22:10.600 No, no, don't fucking do it. Please! Don't you fucking do it! 01:22:10.600 --> 01:22:12.560 This is humanity's eleventh hour 01:22:20.200 --> 01:22:22.480 and I've prepared something for the occasion 01:22:25.960 --> 01:22:27.980 Oh god. nonononono 01:22:29.800 --> 01:22:30.480 (singing) It's 01:22:31.840 --> 01:22:32.340 a 01:22:33.300 --> 01:22:36.580 Show-stopping number 01:22:36.680 --> 01:22:39.340 a real showstopper 01:22:39.780 --> 01:22:42.260 a show-stopping number 01:22:42.260 --> 01:22:44.220 Come on 01:22:45.320 --> 01:22:47.800 Something to suck 'em 01:22:48.100 --> 01:22:49.540 to bring them 01:22:49.600 --> 01:22:50.960 a-crawling 01:22:51.080 --> 01:22:54.460 a big-time box-office draw 01:22:55.540 --> 01:22:58.680 With the press and the glamour 01:22:58.860 --> 01:23:01.300 We'll kill the reviews! 01:23:01.300 --> 01:23:06.340 Spotlight on Mr. Ingénue 01:23:06.400 --> 01:23:13.020 So feel up your Tumblr, got a show-stopping number for you 01:23:13.020 --> 01:23:16.360 (speaking) Please Professor if they hear us they will kill us! 01:23:17.060 --> 01:23:19.120 - A soul stopping number - (speaking) Oh god 01:23:19.500 --> 01:23:21.700 is something you die for 01:23:22.040 --> 01:23:25.760 A real catchy earworm-y tune 01:23:27.320 --> 01:23:29.300 An award winning score 01:23:29.680 --> 01:23:32.280 That seeps in and out of your pores. 01:23:32.280 --> 01:23:32.780 (speaking) No no! 01:23:32.840 --> 01:23:36.380 A ditty to make the chorus girls swoon! 01:23:36.840 --> 01:23:38.180 You know 01:23:38.180 --> 01:23:39.740 unifies humanity 01:23:40.000 --> 01:23:42.480 In a poundering chorus 01:23:42.760 --> 01:23:47.240 No exits from this Broadway venue 01:23:47.580 --> 01:23:54.340 So crash those shiny cymbals, got a show stopping hymnal for you 01:23:55.880 --> 01:23:57.880 (speaking) This song's pretty good, huh? 01:23:59.730 --> 01:24:02.540 I bet you didn't know I was also a composer. In fact, 01:24:03.680 --> 01:24:09.080 while I've been preparing for the apocalypse, I've also been writing my own musical 01:24:13.920 --> 01:24:15.800 Do you mind if I give you the pitch? 01:24:16.020 --> 01:24:18.160 - We don't have time... - Fucking go for it 01:24:21.060 --> 01:24:22.860 It's called.. 01:24:22.860 --> 01:24:24.620 Working Boys! 01:24:25.040 --> 01:24:29.760 A new musical. It's the story of a group of old college chums. Sure, 01:24:30.540 --> 01:24:34.680 they found success in the business world. But still, 01:24:35.480 --> 01:24:40.940 they long for the simpler times. In that beat-up old house at the edge of college campus 01:24:42.240 --> 01:24:46.000 But those glory days, they're gone for good 01:24:47.640 --> 01:24:49.880 Or... Are they? 01:24:51.260 --> 01:24:54.740 This here... This is the title number! 01:24:56.740 --> 01:25:00.100 (singing) Business calls! I'm up to my ass in shit! 01:25:00.720 --> 01:25:02.080 What is this business? 01:25:02.260 --> 01:25:05.660 Market's are crashing and I'm at the edge of my wits 01:25:06.080 --> 01:25:09.660 I just can't take it. When all I want to do 01:25:10.140 --> 01:25:12.560 Is spend the day with Greg 01:25:14.100 --> 01:25:15.460 and Steve 01:25:16.880 --> 01:25:18.120 and Stu 01:25:19.580 --> 01:25:20.920 and Mark 01:25:22.540 --> 01:25:23.960 and Leighton 01:25:25.340 --> 01:25:26.420 and Chad 01:25:27.820 --> 01:25:28.900 and- 01:25:30.120 --> 01:25:31.580 Ring ring 01:25:32.380 --> 01:25:33.860 the phone rings 01:25:36.040 --> 01:25:37.520 I answer it 01:25:42.760 --> 01:25:44.400 Oh hey, Greg 01:25:46.360 --> 01:25:48.080 I'm swamped 01:25:49.400 --> 01:25:51.400 with business 01:25:53.320 --> 01:25:57.700 Stocks, bonds, golden parachutes... 01:25:58.620 --> 01:26:00.840 Remember those days on the football fields, Greg? 01:26:04.920 --> 01:26:07.200 Last week feels like ages ago 01:26:12.980 --> 01:26:14.020 Today? 01:26:15.440 --> 01:26:18.540 After work on football field? 01:26:19.200 --> 01:26:21.520 the old stomping ground, ey Greg? 01:26:23.240 --> 01:26:24.620 Just you 01:26:25.440 --> 01:26:26.540 and me 01:26:28.400 --> 01:26:29.540 and Steve 01:26:31.440 --> 01:26:32.340 and Stu 01:26:33.960 --> 01:26:35.960 Mark nd Layton 01:26:38.160 --> 01:26:39.020 (Both) and Chad 01:26:48.360 --> 01:26:49.559 Five o'clock. 01:26:50.580 --> 01:26:52.140 I'll see you then Greg 01:26:56.480 --> 01:26:58.100 I'll see you then 01:27:00.380 --> 01:27:02.700 All I want to do 01:27:03.080 --> 01:27:05.600 Is spend that day with Steve 01:27:06.020 --> 01:27:09.320 and five o'clock can't come soon enough 01:27:09.600 --> 01:27:12.340 five o'clock can't come soon enough 01:27:12.340 --> 01:27:14.920 five o'clock can't come soon enough 01:27:15.200 --> 01:27:20.360 I can't wait to get home to my boys 01:27:21.340 --> 01:27:24.040 A show stopping number 01:27:24.040 --> 01:27:26.460 A real show stopper 01:27:26.460 --> 01:27:31.120 An aria to rule them all 01:27:31.380 --> 01:27:36.640 They'll throw us their money at full price admission 01:27:36.860 --> 01:27:41.680 The world will come crumbling down 01:27:42.020 --> 01:27:48.360 Hamilton move over, your new competition's in town. 01:27:48.500 --> 01:27:50.000 Hey, Henry! 01:27:51.320 --> 01:27:54.360 Greg! Is it really you? 01:27:54.400 --> 01:27:56.480 No Professor! That's not Greg! 01:27:56.880 --> 01:27:58.360 Been a long time! 01:27:58.460 --> 01:28:02.740 Hey boys, you're ready to toss around that pigskin? 01:28:03.340 --> 01:28:06.320 Stu! You haven't aged a day 01:28:07.060 --> 01:28:11.800 Can it be five o'clock already? It must be! 01:28:12.060 --> 01:28:15.620 Come on Henry, we got some catching up to do 01:28:17.700 --> 01:28:21.160 Working boys, we're up to our ass in shit 01:28:21.620 --> 01:28:23.140 What is this business? 01:28:23.240 --> 01:28:25.640 Five o'clock can't come soon enough 01:28:25.640 --> 01:28:27.840 Five o'clock can't come soon enough 01:28:28.320 --> 01:28:30.720 Five o'clock can't come soon enough 01:28:30.980 --> 01:28:32.500 I can't wait to get home 01:28:32.940 --> 01:28:36.640 to my boys! 01:28:36.640 --> 01:28:39.860 Oh! Help! Please please please! Oh my god! Please God! 01:28:39.880 --> 01:28:43.280 If you save me right now, I promise I'm gonna be a better person, please. 01:28:43.360 --> 01:28:44.380 It's okay guys, I'm here 01:28:44.460 --> 01:28:44.960 Paul! 01:28:45.220 --> 01:28:46.820 Shh, we gotta get out of here while they're distracted! 01:28:46.820 --> 01:28:48.380 Oh my god, should I take this chair? 01:28:48.540 --> 01:28:49.040 Yes 01:28:49.040 --> 01:28:50.120 I'll get the piano! 01:28:54.020 --> 01:28:56.480 Yes, yes, make me one of you! 01:28:56.480 --> 01:28:58.580 Wait no! Not my tummy! No! 01:29:08.180 --> 01:29:13.200 Come on guys, there's a helicopter coming to pick us up. We gotta get to Oakly Park in- oh shit it's 10:52 01:29:13.200 --> 01:29:14.120 We're gonna have to huff it 01:29:14.120 --> 01:29:15.360 Wait Paul. I gotta say something. 01:29:15.380 --> 01:29:15.920 Not now Ted! 01:29:15.920 --> 01:29:16.700 Yes now! 01:29:18.000 --> 01:29:19.400 Today, uh... 01:29:20.820 --> 01:29:23.320 Today has, uh, has broken me. 01:29:24.800 --> 01:29:27.640 I'm ashamed of how I acted earlier 01:29:28.860 --> 01:29:29.980 with Bill 01:29:30.980 --> 01:29:33.640 Well shit, I wanted to abandon Erica back there 01:29:33.640 --> 01:29:34.200 Emma! 01:29:34.200 --> 01:29:35.020 Gesundheit 01:29:36.300 --> 01:29:37.480 and Paul 01:29:38.660 --> 01:29:40.420 I wish I could be brave 01:29:40.760 --> 01:29:41.460 Like you 01:29:41.460 --> 01:29:43.180 Shut the fuck up dude. We gotta go! 01:29:43.180 --> 01:29:47.480 But you see, I deserve any kind of abuse you guys want to give me, alright? Because I- 01:29:47.780 --> 01:29:48.420 come here 01:29:49.380 --> 01:29:51.520 I've been a grade-a asshole 01:29:52.260 --> 01:30:00.400 But I swear! Come on. I swear I am gonna be a better person because today has taught me something and it's 01:30:01.920 --> 01:30:08.280 It's what's really important in this life. And it's the people you care about, you know? 01:30:08.280 --> 01:30:09.100 Hey Paul? 01:30:10.460 --> 01:30:13.920 I have always considered you one of my best friends- 01:30:13.920 --> 01:30:17.300 Working boys, you're up to your ass in shit! 01:30:17.300 --> 01:30:19.260 Ok I'm just gonna run away right now! 01:30:19.260 --> 01:30:21.220 - I hate you ok bye! - Get the fuck back here, you coward! 01:30:21.220 --> 01:30:23.540 Hey I said I'd be a better person, I'm still not a good person! 01:30:23.540 --> 01:30:24.040 UGH! 01:30:24.360 --> 01:30:27.760 Bye! Fuuuuuuuck that 01:30:31.800 --> 01:30:33.800 Okay, all right 01:30:33.800 --> 01:30:35.520 I just gotta get to that chopper 01:30:35.520 --> 01:30:37.180 just gotta get to that chopper 01:30:37.280 --> 01:30:38.900 (drum trills) 01:30:38.900 --> 01:30:39.400 What? 01:30:40.080 --> 01:30:40.580 Huh! 01:30:41.340 --> 01:30:42.500 Oh yeah! 01:30:42.720 --> 01:30:46.860 The military! Oh yes! Over here! Over here! 01:30:47.220 --> 01:30:51.400 Yes, just save me! I'm the only one that survived, everyone else is dead! Oh 01:30:51.700 --> 01:30:57.580 I tell ya. Oh, man, you guys are a sight for sore eyes, huh? 01:30:57.580 --> 01:31:03.660 You know, I always support the troops. That's number one. Number two. I bleed red white and- 01:31:03.800 --> 01:31:04.300 (gunshot) 01:31:07.900 --> 01:31:10.140 I don't know what you've been told, 01:31:10.300 --> 01:31:18.780 but Americans should fit a mold. There's war to be fought in this country against those that are far too bold 01:31:19.460 --> 01:31:24.280 Two-party system left and right, there's only room for right and wrong 01:31:24.780 --> 01:31:31.080 It's you and me and me and you. The loudest become the strong. Yeah, we're great again 01:31:31.080 --> 01:31:35.200 (Woah Woah Woah) 01:31:35.380 --> 01:31:36.960 America's great again 01:31:36.960 --> 01:31:40.860 (Woah Woah Woah) 01:31:41.660 --> 01:31:43.040 Thank you Emma! 01:31:44.000 --> 01:31:47.440 Oh God no! General McNamara, they got you too! 01:31:47.440 --> 01:31:48.660 Who's General McNamara? 01:31:48.800 --> 01:31:50.200 He was a good man 01:31:50.520 --> 01:31:51.840 Sir, it's Paul! 01:31:51.920 --> 01:31:53.380 - Wha-? - Run, Emma! Run! 01:31:53.540 --> 01:31:54.800 You can't run 01:31:55.080 --> 01:31:58.800 (Woah you can't run Woah) 01:31:59.040 --> 01:32:00.800 Cause our borders are closed 01:32:00.800 --> 01:32:04.040 (Woah our borders are closed Woah) 01:32:04.340 --> 01:32:06.800 You're staring down a gun 01:32:06.800 --> 01:32:09.300 Oh my god! We have to get out of here! 01:32:09.300 --> 01:32:10.640 But the helicopter is coming to meet us here! 01:32:10.640 --> 01:32:12.040 Cause you're easily disposed 01:32:12.040 --> 01:32:13.980 What are we supposed to do? Just go through them? 01:32:13.980 --> 01:32:16.360 Oh jeez. I don't- I don't know 01:32:16.360 --> 01:32:17.640 The final solution 01:32:17.800 --> 01:32:18.840 Just run for it! 01:32:19.460 --> 01:32:20.540 We missed our chance! They're moving! 01:32:20.540 --> 01:32:24.080 Is a charted course on the winds of our own evolution 01:32:25.880 --> 01:32:30.020 Singularity had through a predestined self-destruction 01:32:30.440 --> 01:32:31.160 Watch out! 01:32:31.400 --> 01:32:36.660 So that we may reveal the experience of the new construction 01:32:39.320 --> 01:32:40.840 Yeah we're great again 01:32:45.360 --> 01:32:46.080 (gunshot) 01:32:47.940 --> 01:32:49.040 (helicopter whirring) 01:32:49.040 --> 01:32:51.540 Paul! The helicopter! Come on! 01:32:51.980 --> 01:32:59.500 We're great again, no answers to be found 01:33:03.280 --> 01:33:12.000 We're great again, no answers to be found 01:33:16.820 --> 01:33:18.420 (helicopter whirring) 01:33:19.020 --> 01:33:23.520 Oh my god, Paul! Oh we made it! 01:33:24.240 --> 01:33:25.539 Woah! 01:33:25.539 --> 01:33:29.279 No one else is coming they've all been infected. Get us out of here! 01:33:30.420 --> 01:33:35.940 Yes! I thought I was fucking die 01:33:36.340 --> 01:33:38.340 in Hatchetfield 01:33:39.240 --> 01:33:41.240 But we're not, Paul! 01:33:41.820 --> 01:33:46.480 We got out of there and we're never going back 01:33:48.000 --> 01:33:50.660 Fuck you Hatchetfield! 01:33:52.980 --> 01:33:54.280 Emma, seatbelts! 01:33:54.280 --> 01:33:55.520 It's a little bumpy 01:33:55.520 --> 01:33:57.579 Hey, hey! 01:33:57.580 --> 01:34:01.060 Ma'am, you really saved our asses back there 01:34:01.060 --> 01:34:01.560 Ma'am! 01:34:02.460 --> 01:34:04.020 Thank you, Hey! 01:34:04.280 --> 01:34:09.140 Hey Mr. Business, how do you do? 01:34:09.660 --> 01:34:10.340 Zoey? 01:34:10.340 --> 01:34:15.580 Can we get a triple for you? 01:34:15.580 --> 01:34:18.280 (slowmotion) Nooooooooo 01:34:18.540 --> 01:34:19.260 (gunshot) 01:34:19.620 --> 01:34:21.160 (alarm siren) 01:34:23.900 --> 01:34:26.460 (helicopter crash) 01:34:32.820 --> 01:34:33.320 Emma! 01:34:34.920 --> 01:34:35.420 Emma! 01:34:35.420 --> 01:34:36.120 Huuuh 01:34:36.120 --> 01:34:36.680 Emma! 01:34:36.960 --> 01:34:37.920 Aughhh 01:34:38.360 --> 01:34:39.040 Oh! 01:34:39.660 --> 01:34:41.480 Oh god Emma! Your leg! 01:34:41.480 --> 01:34:42.920 Oh fuck! 01:34:44.700 --> 01:34:45.200 Ughhh 01:34:45.580 --> 01:34:49.200 Emma... I hate to say this right now, but this is what seatbelts are for 01:34:49.200 --> 01:34:50.560 Shiiiitt 01:34:51.240 --> 01:34:51.740 Emma 01:34:52.020 --> 01:34:54.940 Emma, we're still in Hatchetfield, we need to get to the shore! We need to find a boat or something 01:34:54.940 --> 01:34:56.180 No no ahhhhhh! 01:34:56.860 --> 01:35:01.000 Paul, I can't make it. I'm not getting off the island. 01:35:01.620 --> 01:35:04.380 No, but Emma those those things are gonna find us. Okay, so... 01:35:04.380 --> 01:35:06.940 You gotta fucking kill them before they do 01:35:08.620 --> 01:35:09.900 The meteor 01:35:09.900 --> 01:35:14.760 You gotta you got to destroy the meteor, Paul. It's like your friend said, you know 01:35:15.360 --> 01:35:16.640 The hive mind? 01:35:16.640 --> 01:35:18.180 Which friend? Bill, Ted, Charlotte? 01:35:18.180 --> 01:35:19.900 I don't know your friend's fucking names 01:35:20.740 --> 01:35:23.520 You take the head off, the whole thing goes down 01:35:24.180 --> 01:35:25.340 Okay 01:35:25.920 --> 01:35:26.900 - Ugghh - Okay 01:35:28.500 --> 01:35:29.000 Okay 01:35:30.480 --> 01:35:31.520 So I just need to 01:35:32.580 --> 01:35:36.700 Get to the Starlight Theater, destroy the meteor, and all these things will drop dead? 01:35:37.000 --> 01:35:39.020 Yeah, I sure as shit hope so 01:35:39.920 --> 01:35:40.420 Ugh 01:35:40.420 --> 01:35:42.040 You stay here and try to hang on 01:35:43.580 --> 01:35:44.080 Hey... 01:35:44.740 --> 01:35:45.240 Paul? 01:35:47.100 --> 01:35:47.600 Um 01:35:48.940 --> 01:35:49.780 I know 01:35:50.220 --> 01:35:52.520 Why you came into Beanies all those times... 01:35:53.340 --> 01:35:55.220 instead of just going to Starbucks 01:35:56.260 --> 01:35:58.700 and it wasn't cause you liked our shit coffee 01:35:59.780 --> 01:36:01.360 Our coffee was shit 01:36:02.400 --> 01:36:03.840 'cause we didn't care 01:36:03.840 --> 01:36:04.400 shhhhhh 01:36:04.800 --> 01:36:06.340 and sometimes we would spit in it 01:36:07.520 --> 01:36:09.600 and you might have drank my spit, but 01:36:10.740 --> 01:36:12.740 I didn't know you back then and 01:36:12.840 --> 01:36:13.560 I wish I did. 01:36:14.300 --> 01:36:14.920 Anyway 01:36:15.900 --> 01:36:16.400 Paul 01:36:17.600 --> 01:36:19.040 If we get through this, 01:36:19.400 --> 01:36:24.200 I would love to just see a nice SILENT movie with you. 01:36:25.740 --> 01:36:27.100 But in case we don't, 01:36:28.300 --> 01:36:29.660 kiss me? 01:36:31.340 --> 01:36:32.200 Okay. 01:36:36.980 --> 01:36:37.540 (cough) 01:36:42.720 --> 01:36:43.220 Ugh 01:36:45.580 --> 01:36:47.420 Oh... Oh Emma... 01:36:48.280 --> 01:36:48.980 Oh yeah... 01:36:49.420 --> 01:36:50.860 That was a lot of blood 01:36:52.020 --> 01:36:52.820 I think that 01:36:53.080 --> 01:36:54.240 I think thats all of it though 01:36:54.240 --> 01:36:56.520 So get back on in here 01:36:59.380 --> 01:37:00.600 No thanks.... 01:37:00.960 --> 01:37:03.360 No... I'm sorry. 01:37:03.660 --> 01:37:05.200 Yeah, you're right fuck it. 01:37:05.200 --> 01:37:05.940 Get outta here 01:37:06.060 --> 01:37:08.120 Okay. Byeeeee 01:37:16.060 --> 01:37:17.420 Didja hear the word? 01:37:17.420 --> 01:37:18.180 What's the word? 01:37:18.500 --> 01:37:19.380 He's a comin' 01:37:19.380 --> 01:37:20.140 Who's a comin'? 01:37:20.540 --> 01:37:21.540 Paul's a comin' 01:37:21.900 --> 01:37:22.880 Paul's a comin'? 01:37:22.980 --> 01:37:24.820 The star of the show! 01:37:24.900 --> 01:37:25.700 Let him come 01:37:25.760 --> 01:37:26.260 Word? 01:37:26.260 --> 01:37:27.380 What's the word? 01:37:27.380 --> 01:37:28.240 He's a comin' 01:37:28.240 --> 01:37:29.200 Who's a comin'? 01:37:29.200 --> 01:37:30.200 Paul's a comin' 01:37:30.320 --> 01:37:31.360 Paul's a comin'? 01:37:31.680 --> 01:37:33.520 The star of the show! 01:37:33.520 --> 01:37:34.380 Let him come! 01:37:39.580 --> 01:37:41.340 The old Starlight Theater 01:37:45.780 --> 01:37:46.500 There it is 01:37:47.300 --> 01:37:48.020 The meteor 01:37:49.620 --> 01:37:52.460 We've been waiting for you Paul! 01:37:52.460 --> 01:37:54.400 Bill! S-stay back 01:37:54.440 --> 01:37:58.260 Watch out Paul! He might kick your head. 01:38:00.700 --> 01:38:05.340 And that would be a ladidada-da-Dah 01:38:05.900 --> 01:38:06.400 Ted! 01:38:07.560 --> 01:38:08.580 Emma's boss! 01:38:09.540 --> 01:38:12.820 That's right Paul, all your best friends are here 01:38:13.680 --> 01:38:15.620 We're happy now! 01:38:15.820 --> 01:38:17.800 We got what we wanted! 01:38:18.140 --> 01:38:18.640 No. 01:38:19.260 --> 01:38:19.760 No. 01:38:20.700 --> 01:38:23.800 Mr. Davidson didn't want to become a mindless alien slave. 01:38:24.380 --> 01:38:26.600 He wanted to be choked by his wife. 01:38:27.480 --> 01:38:28.840 While he jerked off! 01:38:29.760 --> 01:38:31.300 Well, I'm going to put a stop to all this. 01:38:31.300 --> 01:38:34.200 I thought you didn't care about saving the planet. 01:38:34.200 --> 01:38:35.700 Back off Greenpeace girl! 01:38:36.000 --> 01:38:38.060 I pull this pin and you're all toast! 01:38:38.060 --> 01:38:39.540 You wouldn't do that, Paul. 01:38:39.660 --> 01:38:40.740 I sure as hell will 01:38:40.800 --> 01:38:44.740 And what about you? You'd die too, is that what you want? 01:38:46.100 --> 01:38:47.420 It doesn't matter what I want 01:38:47.680 --> 01:38:49.660 We think it does, Paul 01:38:49.660 --> 01:38:52.360 And we wanna hear about it 01:38:52.360 --> 01:38:57.420 In fact, we think there's a song in you yet! 01:38:59.580 --> 01:39:01.360 (singing) What's in your soul? 01:39:02.340 --> 01:39:04.740 Is your heart so damp and bleak, 01:39:04.940 --> 01:39:08.780 That you won't give us a peek of your soul? 01:39:09.240 --> 01:39:10.880 Just let it out! 01:39:11.980 --> 01:39:14.140 Theres a voice inside of you 01:39:14.580 --> 01:39:16.500 on the edge of comin' through 01:39:16.640 --> 01:39:18.780 What's it about? 01:39:19.380 --> 01:39:24.060 And I know it's a singular voice, Paul 01:39:24.260 --> 01:39:28.860 You just gotta give up your choice! 01:39:28.920 --> 01:39:29.960 Just let it out! 01:39:30.000 --> 01:39:32.540 Let it out, let it out 01:39:34.120 --> 01:39:37.240 Let it out, let it out, let it out 01:39:38.440 --> 01:39:42.840 Just let it out! Let it out, let it out! 01:39:43.860 --> 01:39:45.400 Let it out, let it out 01:39:46.000 --> 01:39:48.000 Never! 01:39:50.040 --> 01:39:54.480 (speaking) It's your proximity to the meteor, Paul. The air in here is thick with its spores, 01:39:54.480 --> 01:39:57.560 feel your apotheosis begin as they take root in your mind! 01:39:57.640 --> 01:40:00.000 Did you really think we'd let you kill us? 01:40:00.000 --> 01:40:02.660 You'll be one of us before you can pull that pin 01:40:02.660 --> 01:40:03.620 What was that? 01:40:03.760 --> 01:40:04.540 You let it out 01:40:05.040 --> 01:40:07.500 Is that a note or just a sound? 01:40:07.500 --> 01:40:10.720 Am I finally comin' round to a rhymin'-scheme 01:40:11.020 --> 01:40:12.120 Oh god! 01:40:12.220 --> 01:40:14.340 Just stop it, I'm split in two 01:40:14.780 --> 01:40:17.140 Is this me or is this you? 01:40:17.140 --> 01:40:21.480 Am I dead, I'm comin' apart at the seams! 01:40:21.700 --> 01:40:26.440 La dah dah Dadadadadada NO! 01:40:26.520 --> 01:40:31.020 Nonono no no nonooooo! 01:40:31.020 --> 01:40:34.340 Just let it out! Let it out, let it out 01:40:34.800 --> 01:40:36.200 (dry heaving) 01:40:36.580 --> 01:40:39.580 Let it out, let it out, let it out 01:40:40.840 --> 01:40:44.940 Just let it out, let it out, let it out 01:40:46.120 --> 01:40:49.540 Let it out, let it out, let it- 01:40:59.300 --> 01:41:02.300 I've never been happy 01:41:02.700 --> 01:41:05.100 Wouldn't that be nice? 01:41:05.100 --> 01:41:07.260 Is this the secret? 01:41:08.080 --> 01:41:10.840 Singing and dancing through life? 01:41:10.840 --> 01:41:16.000 Is my integrity worth anything at all? 01:41:16.400 --> 01:41:20.640 But happiness can't come before it's fall 01:41:21.360 --> 01:41:23.020 Am I crazy? 01:41:23.980 --> 01:41:26.240 Maybe I've always been 01:41:26.240 --> 01:41:28.460 become what I've hated 01:41:29.200 --> 01:41:31.140 Or maybe I never did 01:41:31.500 --> 01:41:33.320 It's awful freeing now 01:41:33.980 --> 01:41:35.980 to share the hate I felt 01:41:36.600 --> 01:41:38.640 But what will I let in if I 01:41:38.640 --> 01:41:41.620 Let it out, let it out, let it out 01:41:41.620 --> 01:41:43.600 Am I crazy? I don't think so... 01:41:43.600 --> 01:41:46.400 Let it out, let it out, let it out 01:41:46.400 --> 01:41:47.780 Maybe I've always been 01:41:47.780 --> 01:41:51.460 Just let it out! Let it out, let it out 01:41:51.760 --> 01:41:53.460 God help me out! 01:41:53.460 --> 01:41:54.540 Let it out, let it out 01:41:54.540 --> 01:41:56.080 If I let it 01:41:56.940 --> 01:41:58.860 Ouuuuuuuutt 01:41:58.860 --> 01:42:04.820 We will not be resisted! 01:42:04.820 --> 01:42:05.540 I Don't 01:42:05.960 --> 01:42:06.460 Like 01:42:06.880 --> 01:42:07.600 Musicals! 01:42:08.200 --> 01:42:09.060 (electrical buzz) 01:42:09.220 --> 01:42:11.980 WoooOOooOoOoooOoooo 01:42:23.860 --> 01:42:27.660 This is the Morning Clivesdale News with Rachel and Rod 01:42:28.080 --> 01:42:32.420 It's been two weeks since tragedy struck our sister city of Hatchetfield. 01:42:32.420 --> 01:42:38.820 Candlelight vigils line the streets, as Clivesdale citizens try to make sense of this unspeakable loss 01:42:39.100 --> 01:42:45.060 Every last man, woman, and child in Hatchetfield, gone in the blink of an eye 01:42:45.280 --> 01:42:49.840 A meteor and a ruptured gasline was all it took to wipe them off the map 01:42:50.080 --> 01:42:54.420 But it will take much much more to wipe them from our hearts 01:42:55.540 --> 01:42:58.560 (heart monitor beeps) 01:43:04.700 --> 01:43:06.320 Is she ready to go? 01:43:12.840 --> 01:43:14.680 How's that leg doing, Kelly? 01:43:14.680 --> 01:43:17.640 Uh yeah, why'd it have to be Kelly? 01:43:17.800 --> 01:43:19.200 I liked my old name 01:43:19.200 --> 01:43:20.880 Couldn't you have picked something similar, 01:43:20.880 --> 01:43:24.720 like Emily or that's all I can think of 01:43:25.200 --> 01:43:26.880 That's a negative, Kelly 01:43:26.880 --> 01:43:28.000 You'll get used to it 01:43:28.000 --> 01:43:32.300 In the meantime, we can't have anyone making any connections between you and 01:43:32.300 --> 01:43:36.600 Emma Perkins, who perished in the Hatchetfield Catastrophe. 01:43:36.780 --> 01:43:40.320 Yeah that was the other thing, you couldn't even give me a cool death? 01:43:40.380 --> 01:43:44.720 Like, Emma Perkins, her flesh melted off while she was shielding children 01:43:44.720 --> 01:43:49.540 Ya know something heroic? I mean it was my idea to destroy the meteor after all 01:43:49.540 --> 01:43:52.200 (tongue click) and Uncle Sam is not ungrateful 01:43:52.980 --> 01:43:55.560 Here Kelly, this is for you 01:43:55.560 --> 01:44:01.880 Inside, you'll find a new passport, social security card, and the deed to a 5-acre plot of land in Colorado 01:44:02.560 --> 01:44:07.400 Green. Fertile. Hell of a place to grow some cannibis. 01:44:09.440 --> 01:44:10.160 Thanks. 01:44:11.360 --> 01:44:13.700 Um, Colonel Schaffer 01:44:14.160 --> 01:44:15.800 You're sure there were no other survivors? 01:44:16.440 --> 01:44:19.940 We've been through this Kelly, there were no survivors. 01:44:19.940 --> 01:44:24.660 Save for one pocket-sized squirrel we found burrowed in the chest of a local woodworker. 01:44:24.660 --> 01:44:28.260 Awww Peanuts! I'm glad he got out of there. 01:44:29.160 --> 01:44:32.560 Now THAT is a story we can disclose to the public. 01:44:32.560 --> 01:44:37.180 In the wake of a tragedy like this, little bit of good news goes a long way. 01:44:37.740 --> 01:44:40.740 Yeah, its just um 01:44:41.640 --> 01:44:42.140 Paul 01:44:43.520 --> 01:44:44.900 He was a good man, Kelly 01:44:45.340 --> 01:44:49.400 If not for his sacrifice, the outbreak would have spread to the mainland. 01:44:49.400 --> 01:44:54.200 It was contained in Hatchetfield, but if it had gotten loose here in Clivesdale, there'd be no stopping it 01:44:55.800 --> 01:44:56.920 Goodbye, Kelly! 01:44:57.340 --> 01:44:59.180 Good luck with the pot farm. 01:44:59.820 --> 01:45:00.380 Thanks. 01:45:00.560 --> 01:45:03.060 Oh! One more thing 01:45:03.260 --> 01:45:06.700 You'll be escorted to Colorado by a Mr. Ben Bridges. 01:45:06.920 --> 01:45:08.360 He's waiting outside 01:45:08.360 --> 01:45:10.200 Oh, I don't know any Ben Bridges. 01:45:10.200 --> 01:45:14.200 Well according to our records, you two were very good friends. 01:45:14.200 --> 01:45:17.000 People would like to say it'd become something more. 01:45:22.480 --> 01:45:23.600 Oh my god! 01:45:24.160 --> 01:45:24.920 Paul! 01:45:25.900 --> 01:45:29.020 You made it! We made it! 01:45:31.880 --> 01:45:36.140 (singing) Emma, I'm sorry 01:45:36.480 --> 01:45:40.800 You lost. 01:45:42.000 --> 01:45:42.500 (speaking) Paul? 01:45:42.540 --> 01:45:46.440 (singing) Emma, I'm sorry 01:45:47.100 --> 01:45:51.140 You lost your way 01:45:51.140 --> 01:45:52.940 (speaking) Paul, you're scaring me. 01:45:52.940 --> 01:45:54.860 What if I told you I made it? 01:45:55.180 --> 01:45:57.160 And this is the life that I chose 01:45:57.160 --> 01:45:57.900 (speaking) What? 01:45:58.060 --> 01:46:02.260 Would you even believe it, Emma? Do you believe in ghosts? 01:46:02.380 --> 01:46:03.020 (speaking) What? 01:46:03.020 --> 01:46:07.740 What if I told you a story that settled all the dust? 01:46:07.740 --> 01:46:11.000 I'm still the man you trust 01:46:11.000 --> 01:46:12.660 (speaking) no... no.. 01:46:12.660 --> 01:46:15.960 Its inevitable for us 01:46:16.140 --> 01:46:19.920 (speaking) No! Get away from me, you're not Paul! You're one of them! 01:46:20.360 --> 01:46:24.860 Before I had no ambition, now my life is a song 01:46:25.460 --> 01:46:30.260 Don't you want to see me happy? Is this so tragically wrong? 01:46:30.740 --> 01:46:35.340 What if the only choice is you had to sing to survive? 01:46:35.580 --> 01:46:39.080 We must go on with the show! 01:46:40.080 --> 01:46:43.120 It's inevitable! 01:46:43.520 --> 01:46:45.280 Do ya know what I want now? 01:46:45.280 --> 01:46:46.660 You know what you want now? 01:46:46.880 --> 01:46:51.000 Emma, I want you to join the party, are you going to tip me? 01:46:51.000 --> 01:46:52.600 Get your cup of coffee 01:46:52.760 --> 01:46:55.620 Look at the fun we're having already 01:46:55.620 --> 01:46:56.200 What? 01:46:56.200 --> 01:46:58.200 I'm following my calling, and you can do the same now 01:46:58.200 --> 01:47:01.420 Putting words to lyrics, and you're playing the game now. 01:47:01.420 --> 01:47:02.840 (speaking) Is this a fucking loop? 01:47:02.840 --> 01:47:05.320 It's all there is and all there ever was 01:47:05.760 --> 01:47:06.540 Emma! 01:47:06.540 --> 01:47:07.160 (screams) 01:47:07.160 --> 01:47:10.020 Let me puke in your mouth, Em! 01:47:10.020 --> 01:47:13.460 Just open your food bin, girl 01:47:13.840 --> 01:47:15.440 And you can join the hive 01:47:15.820 --> 01:47:19.960 By showing those hands, show me those jazz hands 01:47:19.960 --> 01:47:22.240 Get 'em up or you're shit out of luck 01:47:22.440 --> 01:47:25.400 Show me those hands, show me those jazz hands 01:47:25.760 --> 01:47:28.620 Or I might be inclined to 01:47:28.620 --> 01:47:30.460 Plant my seed 01:47:31.340 --> 01:47:32.540 (speaking) NO! NO! 01:47:32.540 --> 01:47:34.720 The hive needs to feed! 01:47:36.300 --> 01:47:38.560 I mean this is guaranteed 01:47:39.500 --> 01:47:41.340 If you just give us one last 01:47:41.340 --> 01:47:46.060 Show stoppin' number, with Emma front and center 01:47:46.240 --> 01:47:51.040 A kickline is inevitable 01:47:51.460 --> 01:47:56.140 What if I told you a story on how the world became peaceful and just? 01:47:56.380 --> 01:47:58.660 It was inevitable 01:47:59.180 --> 01:48:01.380 Inevitable! 01:48:01.740 --> 01:48:04.560 Inevitable! 01:48:05.560 --> 01:48:11.500 The apotheosis is upon UUUUSSSSSSSSS! 01:48:11.780 --> 01:48:13.060 (electrical buzz) 01:48:26.320 --> 01:48:27.380 Excuse me? 01:48:27.720 --> 01:48:31.200 Excuse me, can someone help me please? 01:48:31.440 --> 01:48:33.380 Could you just take out your phone? 01:48:33.380 --> 01:48:35.240 Can I? Can I use your phone please? 01:48:35.520 --> 01:48:37.040 Why are you clapping?! 01:48:38.520 --> 01:48:39.020 Hey! 01:48:42.600 --> 01:48:44.600 Could you just take out your phone? 01:48:45.100 --> 01:48:46.460 Can I use your phone? 01:48:48.360 --> 01:48:51.380 No! Nono! Please! Throw it! 01:48:51.960 --> 01:48:52.940 Noo!